When I was growing up, there was a magnet that hung on our fridge for as long as I can remember. It said:
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
Thanks to the magic of google, I see that Gloria Steinem is the source. Makes total sense.
I’m thinking about this quote, because it seems very relevant to today’s topic.
Last time, I told you that you were not behind. And I hope that made you feel just a little bit better about things. The corollary, however is a bit more… complicated.
And it is this: You will never catch up.
I know. It seems like a depressing thought, right?
The fantasy of Being All Caught Up
I don’t know about you, but I often imagine some magical time (hopefully in the not-too-distant future) when I am All Caught Up.
In that world, there will be:
- No unread email in my inbox.
- No laundry in the hamper or dirty dishes in the sink.
- No pile of unread books by my bed.
- No backlog of projects waiting to be finished.
- No library books, milk bottles or videos to return.
- No weeds to be pulled or leaves to be raked.
- No paperwork to be filled out, or filed, or mailed.
- No bank statements to be reconciled, or receipts to be filed.
There’s more to my fantasy, but you get the idea….
And in this imaginary world, I am free! Free to create, to write, to design and create workshops and classes… free to write blog posts and newsletters and even (heaven forbid!) a book or two.
But of course as soon as I actually imagine the possibility of this magical moment, I see the absurdity of it. An empty email box will stay that way for about 30 seconds. An empty dishwasher will only last until the next meal, an empty laundry basket until bedtime.
And honestly… the thought of no books on my nightstand is much more depressing than the pile that’s already there! I’ll never ‘catch up’ on all the books I want to read, because I add books to the list way faster than I can cross them off. Same with all my various projects.
As Havi reminded us in our class, because we are creative, we are coming up with ideas way faster than we could possibly execute them. (See also Patti Digh: Creative is a Verb: If you’re alive, you’re creative).
And in fact… when I imagine myself free from all these various unfinished (or unfinishable) projects, the very first thing I would do is…. start another project!
Is this the good news or the bad news?
Like most great truths, ‘you will never catch up’ is probably a little bit of both. The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off!
There can be an audible sigh of relief when we stop trying to do the impossible. So that’s the good news.
The bad news (or maybe it’s more good news) is that you (and I!) have one less excuse not to do the things that really matter.
As any mom will testify, there are more than enough never-ending tasks to keep us all occupied 24/7. And of course I’m not suggesting you stop doing laundry or washing dishes altogether. (As lovely as that might be!)
What I am suggesting is that the notion of ‘catching up’ is a hamster wheel that we can run around on all day long- OR we can step off the wheel. It doesn’t mean we’ll stop doing the things that need doing, but we won’t be waiting around until they are ‘done’ to get on with what we really want to do.
So my question for you today is… What is your ‘all caught up’ fantasy? If you stopped spending so much time and energy trying to ‘catch up,’ what would you do, (what could you do) instead?
P.S. If this question feels kind of intimidating- I get it. In fact, that’s one of the big reasons I’m here- to help moms figure out how to get off the hamster wheel that keeps them from doing the thing they really want to do. Remember- you’re not behind (and let’s work together to help you get to where you want to be)!
