Why Ma Ingalls was Happier than You (Part 3)

Lace Scarf

She Had a Rich Creative Life

I began this series a while back and got sidetracked but now I’m picking up the thread again.

In the first two parts of the series we took a look at why productivity is so much more satisfying than maintenance, using Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s definitions and understanding of ‘flow.’

In the previous posts, I suggested that part of the reason Ma was happier was because she spent more of her time on production and less on maintenance than today’s moms.  Here I’d like to suggest that Ma Ingalls was happier than you because she had a pretty hefty dose of creativity and artistic expression ‘baked in’ to her life.

I’ll just start out by saying that I think that creativity is something we’re all born with and that we all have an innate desire to express.  I’m not necessarily talking about the need or desire to express some esoteric truth by creating some magnificent work of art of sublime and ineffable beauty.  It’s really much more basic than that.  The creative impulse I’m talking about is whatever it is that propels human beings to make stuff.

And Ma spent lots of time making stuff.

She helped build the houses that her family lived in.  She grew the food that she then prepared or preserved to feed them.  She made nearly every article of clothing that they wore.  She made curtains for the windows and the quilts for the beds.  Heck, they even made the beds and the mattresses!

This was all part of the ‘productive’ work that Ma did to make sure her family had the basic necessities of life: food, clothing and shelter.

It was hard work, no doubt, but I have to think (and the books certainly lead us to believe) that when she finished sewing a dress for Laura or Mary, she was pleased and satisfied that her efforts had resulted in something both beautiful and functional.

Anyone who’s ever knitted a scarf, finished a quilt, made a painting, thrown a pot, or baked a loaf of bread from scratch knows this feeling.  It feels really good!  Making stuff is not only fun it is deeply satisfying.

Csikszentmihalyi’s theory of flow can shed a bit of light on why creative activities are so satisfying.  For one, they usually engage us physically, mentally and emotionally.  Often creative endeavors involve learning new skills or solving new problems- hitting that sweet spot where ability meets challenge.  And I have to think that creating something functional and or beautiful just is intrinsically satisfying.

Ma had ample opportunities throughout the day, week and year for many different kind of creative endeavors.  She planted her garden in the spring, made jams and preserves in the late summer.  She bought fabric and made new clothes for the girls in the fall and knit socks by the fire in the winter.

This was just part of Ma’s work.  A sanctioned and expected part of her routine.

And yet in our current situation, the need for moms to make stuff is virtually nil.  Having the basic necessities of life available for purchase means that we don’t have to make things.

The efficiency of mass production means that it’s nearly always cheaper and easier to buy something than to make it ourselves.

On one hand, this is great.  As I mentioned in the previous post, I can’t imagine having to knit all my son’s socks.  At the rate he outgrows/loses/puts holes in them, I could never keep up.   Bring on the bag-o-tube-sox!  But I think there has been a cost that we haven’t really noticed.

Trading ease for satisfaction

These days, creative pursuits such as knitting or sewing one’s own clothes, or even baking a loaf of bread can easily be seen as a luxury.  Something optional, expendable and perhaps even self-indulgent.

Because these activities are no longer necessary, they’ve been relegated to the status of ‘hobbies’ or recreation.

In other words, something to be done after our ‘real work’ is done.

As a result, moms often have to carve out and defend a space for their creative pursuits.  And let’s face it, with all the maintenance work that never ends, carving out this time and space isn’t easy.

How can I justify sitting on the sofa knitting a scarf when there is a whole pile of laundry waiting to be folded and put away?

Even when women choose and are able devote a fair bit of time to crafts of any sort, these aren’t integral to the continued good functioning of her family.

It’s the frosting on the cake, not part of the cake itself as was the case for Ma.

My point is that we have lost easy access to a rich source of potential satisfaction that comes from creative pursuits of all kinds.

The fun of playing with colors, textures, tastes and techniques.  The challenge of trying something new: a new recipe, pattern or tool.  The sense of accomplishment that comes when you can hold it up and say, “Look what I made!”  The connection that comes from sharing our creations with others.

It’s not that women (and men) don’t still make stuff.  Of course they do.  But instead of being integrated into the regular routines, it happens on the margins.  Instead of being respected and honored as necessary contributions to the family’s welfare, the creative efforts of modern moms are seen as something she does primarily for herself.

Let me be perfectly clear that I’m not advocating a return to the pioneer days.    I really don’t want to have to make my own clothes or grow every vegetable I want to eat.  And I definitely recognize the stress that some moms feel when they don’t make every meal from scratch, or sew their kid’s Halloween costumes.  I have no interest whatsoever in adding to the collective mommy guilt out there!

But I see the effects on moms everywhere of not having enough creative mojo in their lives.  Feeling guilty for taking a trip through the yarn store- well that’s no good either!

Fortunately, the remedy for this is fairly simple:  just make something.   Make a pot of jam, a simple sundress, a scrapbook for your family.  Paint an old night-stand for your kid, or knit a scarf.

What have you made lately?  How did it make you feel?  Please share in the comments!

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