Comments on: Why is Ma Inglls Happier than You? (Part 2 of a series)

By: Eileen Hanning

Eileen Hanning — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:26:47 +0000

Hey Liz.

You know me. I’m no morning person, and I’m probably just a few steps ahead of the health inspector when it comes to cleaning. I often feel like Sisyphus (the guy who keeps trying to roll the rock up the hill) when it comes to laundry or dealing with the mail. But sometimes doing repetative maintenence things is kind of meditative for me. Like swimming laps. My body is doing something that only minimally requires my attention, so my brain is free to go off some place else. Not exactly “flow”, but better than mind-numbing drudgery.

The othe approach I take is from a prayer from St. Therese “The Little Flower.” She believed there was grace in even the simplest of actions, when done with love. For me, that’s making the mac and cheese AGAIN, finding the missing mitten, buying the favorite applesauce. I keep a prayer of hers on my fridge to remind me that there’s great beauty and power in those repetative, maintenence tasks. Some days I feel that way. Many days I don’t. I’m no saint, after all.

The final approach I take is teaching my kids to do the repetative maintenence tasks. They need to know how to do ithis stuff anyway, so why not start ‘em young. The boys unload the dishwasher, put away laundry, feed the dog, set and clear the table, take out the recycling, make their own lunches, etc. It’s often not entirely to my standards (as low as they are), and it often takes a lot longer than if I just did it myself, but there’s a good chance I wouldn’t have gotten it done anyway, so I’ll not be too picky. I can’t wait until they are tall enough to do the laundry! Maybe I’ll take up knitting!

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 23:48:38 +0000

What gets me through the maintenence is my a.m. routine and my weekly routine. My a.m. routine consists of making beds, drying and folding the laundry that was started the night before, unloading the dishwasher and touching up the bathrooms. By the time my boys leave for school the worst parts of my day are done. Monday is house cleaning day. By Tuesday at 7:30 the worst is over and the rest of the week is productive – soap making, Cub Scout den preparations, errands, exercise, visiting with a friend. You name it and there’s time for it.

By: Liz

Liz — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:47:35 +0000

@Jeanine- So glad you found your way here! The idea that we’re either creating something or making something better is lovely! If we can remember this, it is so much easier to do what needs doing.

By: Jeanine

Jeanine — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:13:19 +0000

Hi – I came to your blog through the “Beyond Little House” website and have enjoyed the two sections of these thoughts about Ma. Just a comment related to what Emily-Sarah said – I have a series of books by Janette Oke, which are also pioneer-type novels, from a Christian perspective. In one, “Roses for Mama” the protagonist is a young woman who is helping to raise her younger siblings after their parents have died. She tries to remember things her mother taught her so that she can pass on that wisdom, and one thing has always resonated with me: to never despise a household chore, because in whatever you do, you are either creating something or making something better. They are words that come back to me when I’m doing something I really dislike…doesn’t mean I like to do things any better, or that I do them more often (boy, can I relate to the idea of bathrooms being cleaned once a month, etc.) but it can sometimes make things a bit easier!

By: Liz

Liz — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:12:51 +0000

@Emily-Sarah — Thanks for both these important points! Seeing results makes things so much more satisfying. And mindset is key! If we could hang on to the attitude you describe so well, I think we’d all be zen masters of the household!

By: Emily-Sarah

Emily-Sarah — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:23:21 +0000

This entire post resonated with me. I think you especially hit the mark when you wrote “satisfying activities have been stripped of their respectable place in our lives.” So true that guilt or feelings of goofing off that we may have with something like knitting were never felt by Ma because her knitting wasn’t optional; it was necessary and therefore productive.

Maintenance is often low-flow for me for all the reasons you stated, but sometimes I *do* get a huge sense of satisfaction IF/when I have a whirlwind cleaning day and can see that big, visible result. “Super maintenance” I guess. And then other rare times (and I have no idea what triggers this response for me) I change my mindset. I apply that biblical instruction of “whatever you do, do it unto the Lord” and elevate unchallenging cleaning to a new level: I’m not sweeping the darn floor, which will need it again before the day’s over. I am helping maintain a clean, lovely, and loving home for me and my family. While I’m cleaning, I pray for my husband and son, give thanks for them, and realize how blessed I am. … But again, this is not my typical attitude. I haven’t mastered high-minded cleaning yet.