Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm– anon.
Am I the only one that finds it strange that in this season where “peace” is one of the watchwords, it takes such an effort to find?
Between the rush to buy, go, do, see and the potential for conflicts, disappointment and hurt feelings that seem to accompany the holidays, peace is hard to come by.
Actually, if you ask me, you’ll never find peace in the sea of insanity that surrounds the holidays- you have to actively seek it, create it even.
And so we’re inundated with “101 Ways to Simplify the Holidays.” Tips on how to scale back, slow down, lower your standards and expectations, etc.
All of which is good as far as it goes. But like so much of the advice along these lines, even after we’ve scaled back, lowered expectations, etc. there’s still a lot to do!
We all have the things we’re willing to let slide, and those we’re not.
For me, decorating the house is a fairly low priority. We get a Christmas tree and have a good time decorating that, and my husband puts lights up outside; but honestly, if our school didn’t sell wreaths, there might not be one hanging on the front door.
At the same time, I have some friends who take great pleasure in bringing out all of their Christmas decorations and completely transforming their homes inside and out. I can’t imagine taking the time and effort to hang all the lights yet I would never dream of suggesting that they deny themselves this pleasure.
On the other hand, I know that emailing photos and holiday greetings would be faster and cheaper than doing cards. But the fact is that I love doing our holiday card every year. I love writing that cheesy letter letting folks we don’t see regularly know what’s going on in our lives. I have at least one aunt who tells me every year how much she appreciates it so, if only for her, I’m writing that letter!
I enjoy thinking of each person as I address the envelopes and write a short note (1 sentence?) on each card. The notes are often the same (Thinking of you often. Hope we get to see you soon.). But even though I might write the same thing to many different people, it’s true each and every time. I am thinking of them. I do hope we get to see them soon.
An email blast might accomplish the same thing as far as getting photos and information to a crowd, but it wouldn’t do for me what sending the cards does.
Having said that, we always order Happy Holiday cards. Not just because I’m being PC, though I have friends from many different traditions and being inclusive is important to me. No- the real reason I have ‘holiday’ cards because there’s really no guarantee at all that those babies are gonna get mailed before Christmas. If I’m lucky, they get out before New Year’s Day or MLK day. One year they all went out with Happy Valentine’s Day written on them!
My point is this- no matter how much you try to simplify things, there’s still a whole lot to do this time of year. Even if you opt out of much of the holiday hoopla, if you’ve got kids, you probably have holiday parties at school, scouts collecting canned goods, choir singing at the nursing home, etc. etc. If you’re active in your church, you really have your hands full this month!
So you’re not going to find peace anywhere!
But that doesn’t mean you can’t create it.
In the few quiet minutes you create by getting out of bed before the chaos begins. Making the time to walk through the park and listening to the muffled sounds of your boots on the snow. Booking a coffee date with a friend in the midst of holiday errands.
These are just a few of the ways you can create peace amid the storm.
And you know what?
Sometimes this kind of advice bugs the snot out of me!
If you’re so overwhelmed you can’t even think and you’d just as soon strangle the dimwit that suggests you take a lovely walk in the woods- what then? Because this where a lot of us find ourselves at some point during this crazy month.
I can’t make the holiday craziness go away, but I might be able to help you find some peace in the midst of it.
If you haven’t already- check out the Overwhelmed Mom’s Rescue Kit, my eight page workbook which guides you step by step from frantic activity (or paralysis) to focused action.
I’ve gotten some great feedback so far and moms who have tried it use words like “calm” and “reassured” to describe how they feel after reading it.
And because I know first-hand how crazy things can get this time of year, I’m offering a special treat for harried moms everywhere.
On Thursday, December 17 I’ll be leading a free teleclass: First Aid for Holiday Overwhelm
For about an hour, you’ll have the support of a trained professional 
and other great moms as we work through some of the exercises in this workbook together.
At the end I’ll give you a sneak peek at the class I’m putting together for January.
Interested? Click here to download the workbook or to register for the free class.
Curious? Shoot me an email and I’ll try to answer your questions.
If you can’t make the call live, register anyway and I’ll send you the recording!
Know any other moms who might be looking for a bit of calm in the storm? Forward this to them!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
“…bugs the snot out of me.” Me too, me TOO! Oy!
I wanted to chime in on that, say thank you for the plug in Friday’s post, and tell you that I have had the crappiest weekend in months, but you and your Kit rescued me – AGAIN.
I’m living proof that peace can be created. I created some last night when I sent everyone in the house to bed at 7:30pm…INCLUDING me. No one, from my 23 y/o step-daughter down to her 4 y/o daughter, nor anyone in between, had the nerve to make a peep. I guess it was rather evident that they either comply or Mom was gonna blow.
Today…was much better.
.-= Suzanne @ vAssistant Services´s last blog ..In Others’ Words: November 23, 2009 =-.
Peace takes effort, whether it’s on a global or household scale. You’re too right about how the holidays have the perfect ingredients to create hurt feelings, unrealistic expectations (other people’s as well as our own {for others AND ourselves!})…
I usually have the house decorated the weekend after Thanksgiving. Here it is only three hours shy of Dec. 10 and the windows are still dark and the real tree is sitting in a bucket in the garage. But I have the wreaths up and the three small artificial trees lighted, glowing in the night … and it’s all good. I’m enjoying the process this year, anticipating the next addition to the decor like lighting another candle each week of advent.
I’m right there with you with the Christmas cards. (I worked on those tonight. Almost done.) I can’t imagine sending out e-mails in place of a hand-addressed card that included at least a sentence or two to the recipient. I’ve already received two cards from relatives that only had their names PREprinted on the inside. It sort of took a bit of the joy out of receiving it, as though I couldn’t help but think, “What’s the point?” But obviously it meant something to them or they wouldn’t bother, right? (Maybe, maybe not.)
And I’m also applying that same question (What’s the point?) to more things I do/usually do/are asked to do during the holidays. What IS the point? Does it add to the meaning of Christmas? Does it add to our joy? Is it a fun, worthwhile tradition (or a potential new one)? When I think of going/doing whatever, does it make my heart hum or do I frown with a sense of dread and obligation. I realize, now at 40 years old, that I don’t HAVE to do X, Y, and/or Z, even if someone else in my life has put that expectation on me. I’m attempting to take back a little “control,” a lot of joy, and putting the birth of Jesus and adoration and love at the center of my mental, physical, emotional, and social “theme.”
Thanks as always for such a thoughtful post. Many prayers that you’ll feel, absorb, and exude lots of peace …