High Fives and Do-overs… the start of a great Friday tradition

The pro-motherhood lobby will tell you that raising the next generation is the most important job there is.  (No argument here…) but somehow most of “the most important work there is” goes unrecognized and unrewarded.  

And I’m not just talking about the fact that mothers never get a promotion, a raise, a window office, or a gold watch on retirement.  

And I’m not even talking about  the lack of respect that dedicated mothers get from so many quarters.

I’m talking about the non-stop work: mental, emotional and physical work that we moms do every day that barely gets noticed, much less appreciated by our families, our communities and the world at large.  

Now before we go too far here, I don’t want to give the impression that I think my family is horribly ungrateful.  I don’t.  But I’m much more likely to get complaints about an empty fridge than compliments for a fully stocked one.  

It seems to me to be an interesting fact of mothering that whenever we’re at the top of our game, either no one notices  it, or they hate our guts!

This isn’t always the case- I’ve certainly received a grateful hug when I show up at school with a forgotten instrument, or lunchbox.  And my husband is pretty good about noticing and appreciating when things get tidied up around here.  

But the simple fact is that when things are going smoothly, our efforts can go unnoticed.  And this is as true for the work we do in our communities as with our families.  200 cupcakes show up for the bake sale…  no worries.   We moms move so quickly to solve problems, it’s fixed before anyone else even realizes there was an issue in the first place!   We make it look SO easy sometimes!  

This is why I say our best efforts are sometimes all but invisible.

And sometimes our best efforts are rewarded with screaming, crying, pouting and the classic, “I hate you.  I wish I’d never been born,” followed by the slamming of the door.  

It’s no wonder Moms are often plagued with self-doubt.  

Much of what we do and the results of the decisions we make will not be obvious for years, if ever.  And we might never know if we got it right or wrong.  And yet we persist- going on faith that what we do makes a difference in the lives of our children, families and communities. 

Will I ever hear my son say “Thanks, Mom for making me practice the violin.”?  Maybe in 20 years, but I can pretty much guarantee I’ll never hear as many ‘thank yous’ as I’ll hear complaints.  

And that’s OK.  Because really that’s not the point.  

I have a fantastic group of mom friends (I hope you do too!) and when our kids were younger there was always great group rejoicing over what might have seemed like little things.  Sleeping through the night.  Weaning.  Potty training….  you get the idea.  

But we also could share the things that no one else would notice or appreciate.  The near-disasters that were averted.  Enduring the family road trip with no major incidents… that sort of thing.

To this end, I’m blatantly stealing an idea I got from Havi Brooks over at The Fluent Self blog.  

I’m calling mine, “High Fives and Do-Overs”.  

Each week I’ll share some of my triumphs and less-than-stellar moments as a mom.  And I’ll invite you to do the same.  These can be small or large- it doesn’t really matter.  This is the place to share that thing that you did that no one else might notice.  And the place to shout from the rooftops about that thing you worked your tail off on.  If it was a minor miracle that dinner got on the table- post it.  If you just won a battle with the school on your child’s behalf- post it. 

This is also a place you can share the places you blew it and wish you could have a do-over.  Again- large or small- what would you do differently next time?  If you wish you could take back that nasty tone of voice you used with your husband the other day- post it.  If you forgot to pack a lunch- post it.  

The one thing I ask is this:  Post your own triumphs and tribulations with wild abandon, and read those of other moms with compassion.  

With that prelude…. I give you 

Getting this blog post done!  Hooray!  And bonus points for making a committment to do it every friday!  

This week I managed to get my son back on track with violin after a week of completely disrupted practicing.  (All the more important because his recital is a week from Saturday!)

Tuesday was an insanely complicated day logistically.  Amazingly enough, everyone got where they needed to be when they needed to be there with what they needed to have when they got there.   

We have both my in-laws and my mom in town for the weekend.  So far, so good.   (Today this is a high five moment- next week, you may hear about a do-over or two!)

I agreed to take a friend’s son for the weekend so she could go on a job interview BEFORE I checked the calendar… After checking with the husband and the calendar, it really only made sense for us to have him on Saturday night.  I wish I’d checked before I said yes….

I totally forgot to make my son’s lunch this morning.  My excuse is that I was getting coffee for my mom and making sure she had everything she needed.   Fortunately, my husband asked, “where’s his lunch…” before they left.  OOPS!  We quickly slapped together a PBJ, threw a banana, a drink and granola bar in a bag and called it good.  

First of all- join Lori and subscribe to this blog… that way you won’t miss a thing and I’ll feel obligated to post regularly!  

Next, post your own High Fives and Do-overs for the week.  

If this part of life’s journey has you travelling in the Mom Lane, chances are lots of your friends are too.  If you tell your cool friends about this blog- we’ll have a really cool community of moms in no time!  

Have a GREAT weekend!