Dreams are Dreamy- But Goals Get it DONE!

This post is inspired by an email I got following last week’s post on big goals vs. small goals.

A friend I’ve known for a while emailed saying that he can get tripped up by both small goals and big goals.  He has lots of big goals,  including world peace and ‘total musical fame,’ but these have left him feeling crappy because they are so far out there it seems like he’ll never achieve them.  When someone coached him to set ‘medium goals’ he was immediately relieved, and amazed himself by actually accomplishing them (or something close to them.)  These medium goals included getting one of his compositions performed in his local area within the next year, and losing 10 pounds in the next six months.  Things like that.

My friend’s experience seemed like the perfect way to discuss the difference between goals and dreams.  Given the way he described both his ‘big goals’ and his ‘medium goals,’ it was no surprise to me at all that he’d had more success in reaching the latter ones.  As he described them, I would characterize only the latter as true goals.  The first group I’d classify as dreams.

And in my experience (for myself and as a coach), dreams are dreamy, but unless they get turned into goals, it’s pretty hard to get there- or to know when we do.

So what makes goals different from dreams?

Commitment+ Action

Sometimes I talk to people about what they really want and get a laundry list of dreams, wishes and fantasies.  They talk about things they would like to do or have in their lives, but there’s not a lot of real juice behind them.

So this is one big difference in how I understand goals vs. dreams.

As I understand it, a goal is something that you’re actually committed to, not just something you say you want.  You have to be willing to take action.

But this doesn’t explain why my friend’s aims are dreams and not goals.  He’s not some dude sitting around playing “Guitar Hero” and thinking how groovy it would be if there were no war.  Quite the contrary.  He is both an accomplished musician and a dedicated social activist.  He’s spent years committed to both these ends and engaging in all kinds of activities along the way.  So why would I say ‘world peace’ and ‘being a totally famous musician’ are dreams and not goals?

Deadlines

For one thing, these don’t have any deadlines attached.  Dreams are out there, always present, but never pressing.  One of the easiest ways to transform a dream into a goal is to give it a deadline.  You can try this now at home.  Think of something you’ve been wanting to do.  Write it down.  Now give yourself a deadline.

Yikes!

A couple of things might have happened there.  Maybe you realized that this particular item was likely to remain a ‘wish’ or ‘dream’ for a while since you really weren’t motivated to act in any timely way on it.  Maybe you immediately thought of a couple of actions you could take in the direction of finishing it by your deadline.

Maybe you realized that the goal as stated was impossible in any identifiable time frame.

Which takes us to the really big difference between dreams and goals…

Specific+ Measurable

Just so you know, I’m all for world peace.  Chances are, unless you are a weapons manufacturer, you are too.

And everyone knows what ‘world peace’ means right?

Think about it for just a minute and I think you might realize that there’s actually not a clear understanding of what this would really entail.  ”The absence of armed conflict on planet Earth” might be one way to define it.  That’s general enough to cover declared wars, ‘internal disputes’ and other related issues.  But what about piracy on the high seas?  Drug-related violence?  Gang warfare?  And let’s not forget domestic violence.  True “world peace” would probably cover that as well, right?  We would probably also want to be sure to eliminate violence against those who are targeted because of their religion, color or sexual orientation.  That should be covered under ‘world peace’ don’t you think?    While we’re at it, it seems like sexual assault, abuse and harassment ought to go in there as well.  And what about peace of mind or internal peace?

My point is this:  we think we know what we want when we state ‘world peace’ as a goal, but we have a hard time articulating exactly what it is that we’re after.  No wonder we’re not there yet!  The interesting thing about starting to tease all these threads apart is that it becomes easier to find a hunk of this that could become a proper goal.

My friend’s second dream suffers from a similar lack of specificity, but it’s a bit easier to sharpen this one up.  If I were going to coach him, I’d ask, “So what does, ‘total musical fame’ mean to you?  Is it being mobbed for autographs when you go out to dinner?  Is it hitting #1 on the Billboard charts?  Is it having a divider with your name on it at the music store?  Is it selling X number of CDs?  Is it playing at Carnegie Hall?  Is it playing X number of gigs locally each month?  Is it making X dollars annually performing?”

We could go on, but you get the point.  ”Total musical fame” will mean very different things to different people, and chances are, even he doesn’t know quite what he means at first.  In order to turn this into a goal, we need some specifics and they need to be measurable.  Otherwise, how will he know when he gets there?

My friend is a talented and accomplished musician, and I have no doubt that if he described what ‘total musical fame’ looked like, he could achieve it, but left vague, even if he achieves it, he’ll never know.

Goals can be Accomplished

Thinking about my friend’s ‘medium goals,’ it’s easy to see why he was actually able to do them.  He was committed and willing to take action, he had a deadline in mind and the goals themselves were both specific and measurable.

Ta da… action + goal = accomplishment.

Just in case you were inclined to think I’m knocking dreams, I’m not.  I love dreams.  Big, fluffy, crazy, impossible dreams.  But because dreams tend to be so big, so vague and so endless, they don’t really lend themselves to accomplishment.   EVEN IF we do lots of action in their general direction, by their nature, they are never ‘done.’  When we carve off one little hunk at at time, turn them into do-able goals, we can watch that dream turn into reality bit by bit.

What’s your experience with dreams and goals?  Got a dream that you shaped into a goal?  Got a dream you’d like help shaping into a goal?  Let us know in the comments!