Just in case you’re one of the handful of folks who missed me the last couple of weeks, I missed you, too! I definitely missed the chance to review the week, taking note of the highs and lows.
So, just like I wouldn’t give up running altogether just because I missed a few days (or weeks!), I’m not dropping this routine either.
Do-Overs:
Sleep is good
Now I’m remembering why l didn’t post the last two Fridays… DH spent most of the last two weeks out of town- leaving early in the week and coming home on Friday. So I was doing single mom duty. Now that AJ is older, it’s really not so hard to manage. But I wasn’t getting myself to sleep at any reasonable hour. By the time I got him off to bed, which was later than usual, I had a list of things I wanted/needed to get done. Mostly emails, etc. But then I would get sucked into who knows what and when I looked up- it was 11:30 or so. (There was at least one high-five moment from all this, however, so keep reading!)
Just decide already….
A fair bit of family drama was caused last week because AJ wanted to do something and DH and I spent the week leaving voicemail messages back and forth about it, without a chance to actually have a conversation and thus without any clear resolution. AJ kept wanting to have an answer, I wanted to give him one, but it just wasn’t coming together. It was frustrating for everyone.
One of the things I don’t mind about his travel is that there’s not anyone else to consult on certain matters. I make the call, and for better or worse, that’s the end of the conversation. If it turns out to be a disaster, well, I’m the one picking up the pieces.
Lesson learned: just decide already!
Expectations lead to difficulties, requests lead to satisfaction
This is a constant practice for me. I find myself walking around thinking/hoping that what I need and want will be obvious to those around me. Guess what? It’s not.
After two solid weeks of making breakfast and lunch every morning, I was kind of hoping for a little break this Monday when DH was finally home. We have a regularly occurring division of labor here- he makes lunches on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I’m at boot camp, but I was hoping that just maybe he’d volunteer to take care of making AJ’s lunch.
When it became clear that he was planning to go for a run, and not even thinking about lunch, I got grumpy.
Did I ask him to make the lunch and he’d refused? No.
Did I even mention that I would appreciate a break? No.
Observant soul that he is, he noticed the growling and asked me what was up. Then and only then did I mention that I’d been making lunches for two weeks straight, and would appreciate it if he could maybe take care of this one.
Once I said something, he was happy to comply- made the lunch while I showered and then went for his run.
As I said, this is a constant practice for me- noticing what I want/need and then asking for it.
High Fives
There were lots of these- so I’ll just hit a few.
Newfield ROCKS!
I got to spend four days with the fabulous folks at the Newfield Network. The first conference was this weekend and I got to see Julio Olalla work his magic, dance with Josephina and get reminded of how powerful this work is and why I love it so much.
I got fired!
Coaching is such a strange and wonderful thing. I’ve been working with a client for some time now and last week, she fired me. She’d been in a really stuck space, but she’d done some good hard work and was now in a different place. I think she thought I might be upset- but I was thrilled for her. She knows I’m always available as a resource if she needs it, but she’s ready to fly on her own now.
The upside to staying up too late on FB
I was goofing around on FB one night when DH was gone and up popped a chat message from a cousin I haven’t seen in many years. My Christmas cards kept coming back, so I knew he’d moved, but had no idea where. Turns out he lives in Saudi Arabia now, and had just gotten back from a bike ride. It was great to catch up with him even if it did keep me up an extra hour!
Building systems
Getting AJ’s glasses home from school every day has been a real challenge. I had it easy when I started wearing glasses because I wore them all the time. If I remembered to put them on in the morning, they were with me all day. Since he only wears them for reading, they are in his desk at the end of the day. Getting them into the backpack has been pretty hit or miss. Asking him every day if had his glasses was a bummer for me and for him. (Never mind that I didn’t always remember to ask.)
Clearly we needed a system.
Talking with him about the end of school routine, we figured out that the last thing they do before walking out the door is put their chairs on top of their desks. So we decided to put a little note card on the bottom of his chair to remind him to take the glasses out of the desk and put them into the backpack.
That seemed to work for a few days, but not consistently enough. And we had two weekends running where the glasses were at school.
Lesson one: it’s only a good system if it works. It doesn’t matter how great it seems on paper, if it’s not making life easier, something needs to change.
I decided some incentives were needed. Based on some of the things folks shared in response to this post, I got a little jar and a handful of glass gems. The deal is that when his glasses come home, he puts a gem into the jar. When the glasses don’t, he takes a gem out of the jar. On Fridays, the stakes are higher: two gems. When the jar is full, he’ll get a reward of some sort- though we haven’t specified this yet.
We’ve just been doing this for a few days, and so far he’s remembered twice and forgotten once.
I consider it an experiment, subject to further tweaking. I’ll keep you posted!
I can see my desk!
This is the newest high-five. AJ and DH left yesterday on the class field trip so I’m home alone for the first time since I can remember. Yesterday afternoon I decided to tackle the piles on my desk. I worked hard for more than two hours, clearing and filing, etc. By the time I was done BOTH my desks were clean. And thanks to my binders, I can actually find stuff again. Let me tell you, I was pleased with myself!
How about you? What would you do-over from this week? Any lessons learned? What would you like a collective Hi-Five for? Let us know in the comments!
Hope you have a splendtastic weekend!
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I missed you, although it’s been such an awful couple of weeks that I didn’t realize it till you re-appeared in my mailbox!
Do Over: I think I’d have to say I’d pretty much like the chance to rewind the last three weeks.
High Five: I’m still here!
@Melynda- Aww, thanks! I think there must be something in the air. Lots of folks I know have had a rough ride the last few weeks. Glad to see you’re still here!
Good to see you back. And I like the system for AJ’s glasses except that I wonder if you are having higher expectations of a kid than most adults would have of themselves. I know when I got reading glasses my optometrist suggested I get a couple of cheap dollar store ones to have next to the bed, next to the phone, in my purse, etc. Not as good as prescription but better than nothing. And the glasses place actually had a deal on so I bought two prescription pair (though I’ve lost one now). I know a lot of other adults that do the same with reading glasses.
So I wonder if there is a cost effective way to have a spare pair so he can just leave on in his desk at school and one at home.
.-= JoVE´s last blog ..Don’t let obligation get you down =-.
@JoVE- I do have some concept of the difficulty of the task, which is why I’ve been really conscious about not giving him a hard time for *not* getting the glasses home and instead trying to make it easy to get them home. I’m also doing my best not to make it an issue of ‘remembering’ vs. ‘forgetting’ because I know I would fail that test 9 times out of 10!
I’m open to the idea of getting a second pair if it really comes down to it, but given the many additional expenses at this moment, I’d like to avoid it if at all possible!