Well as evidenced by the space between posts these days, my summer is at least as disorganized as yours!  Maybe even more!

This post started as a reply to the comments in the previous post, but took on a life of its own.  So here goes.

The big bullet point for today:  Summer.  Is.  Different.

I know.  Sounds obvious, right?  But if you carry the same expectations of yourself and your kids that you had in the spring into the summer, you’re setting yourself up for a lot of frustration and disappointment.

Acceptance is the first step…

I stole this line from a friend who stole it from AA.  But the funny thing is that acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean what you think it means.

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one”

Albert Einstein

Now I’m a philosopher so you don’t really want to get me started on the nature of reality!  (or if there is any such thing!)  But it is pretty clear to me that a lot of us make our lives more difficult than necessary when we fail to see and react to what the world is actually giving us, instead of what we wish or think the world ought to be giving us.

Only when we acknowledge what’s really happening do we have any chance of responding effectively.  This is especially the case when we don’t like what’s happening or things aren’t going as we hoped or planned for them to go.

So it makes a lot of sense to notice what’s actually going on in your world instead of what you think ‘should’ be going on.

Maybe you think your kids ‘should’ be able to play by themselves without interrupting you for longer than 10 minutes.  Or maybe you think they ‘should’ get their chores done or do their summer reading without being nagged reminded.

Maybe you think you ‘should’ be able to get the house cleaned and dinner made, or that you ‘should’ be able to get that project taken care of (cleaning out the basement?  Finishing your 8 year old’s baby book?)

Clarify your own expectations

The first thing to do is to take a few minutes and think about what your expectations are for yourself, your kids, your husband, etc.  If you think you don’t have any- notice the times throughout the day when you feel annoyed, frustrated or irritated.  Chances are, there’s some expectation you have that’s not being met.

Don’t beat yourself (or anyone else)up over it, just notice it.

That’s about enough for today- next time, I’ll have some suggestions for what to do once you’ve noticed what expectations you’re carrying around.

Until then, please chime in… what expectations do you have (that are perhaps being frustrated this summer?)

Please share in the comments!

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Plans, Planning and the Illusion of Control

Like many moms I know, I have an on-again, off-again relationship with making plans.  All the experts tell you that planning is really where it’s at.

And some days, I buy it.  There are those days or weeks when I plot my course and I’m amazed at how easily things flow.  I’m grooving on the feeling of being in control- moving forward and getting things done!  I’m the master of my fate!

Until I’m not.

More often, it seems that I plan my day and it’s been shot to hell before breakfast is even over.  Someone’s sick, something broke, some appointment is cancelled…  and whatever plans I had for the day just got completely scrambled.

Annoyed and frustrated, I write off making plans as a sucker’s game.  A waste of time best left to the hopelessly naive or desperate control freaks.

So I turn the reins over to the universe for a while.  I take a laissez faire approach- meeting each day as it comes.  I still keep track of the big stuff- doctor’s appointments, writing deadlines, client meetings, etc.  but otherwise I just move through the days doing whatever presents itself as the most urgent or interesting thing at the moment.

This usually works at least for a little while.  Sure some things fall through the cracks, and some things never make it to the top of the pile, but no major disasters befall us.  People get fed (though there’s more mac and cheese than I’m really comfortable with) and everyone gets where they need to be (though not always with what they need to have).  All the essential errands get run (though with a few extra trips for forgotten items).  Etc.

And then something big comes along.  Maybe it’s deadline week.  Or maybe I’m starting up a new class or work project.  Maybe some household appliance malfunctions and needs to be replaced.  Whatever the cause, more and more things start to stack up and I find myself stressed out by all the things that suddenly need my attention NOW!

Now I’m into overwhelm and feeling totally out of control.

I’ve finally figured out that the quickest way out of overwhelm is to make a list of everything on my plate and take a look at when I might get it done.  Voila, I’m back in the land of the plan, and having the plan helps me calm down and regain my equilibrium.

Maybe you’ve had a similar relationship with plans and planning.  On the one hand, it’s hard to imagine life as a mom without some kind of plan in place, on the other, I don’t know of another role in which plans are so doomed to failure.  It’s like that old joke: Plans- you can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them.

An important distinction

I recently heard something that shifted my perspective on plans however.  I was listening to Charlie Gilkey of Productive Flourishing and he made a distinction that I had never quite grasped before.  Quoting Eisenhower, he said, “Plans are useless, but planning is essential.”

Plans are useless…

Well no shit, Sherlock!    But honestly, I was so relieved to hear someone finally say something like this.  Because in all the reading I’ve done on time management, organization, etc.  everyone always says you have to make a plan.  No one ever says, “Oh and by the way, this plan that you’ve spent so much time creating is utterly useless.”  But that’s what it seems like, especially for a mom’s life.

If you’re expecting to execute your carefully crafted plan exactly as written, you’re almost certainly courting disappointment.  Anytime your plans involve other people, animals, machines or the elements, you’re dealing with matters far beyond your control.  That’s just life.

The thing I came to realize is that the problem is not that reality interferes with or alters our plans.  The problem is that all too often, we think we’ve done something wrong if our plans don’t unfold exactly as we imagine them.  Either we think we’ve made a faulty plan or we think we’re at fault for not doing what we’d planned.  So we blame ourselves.  But we don’t stop to ask whether the plan was still appropriate or relevant.

If you plan to take a picnic to the park and it’s pouring down rain, common sense would tell you to change your plans.

That one’s easy.  I know.

But so is this one:  If you end up ordering pizza instead of cooking the meal you had written in your menu plan because you were talking your son through an hour of geometry homework- that doesn’t count as a failure of your plan either.  This is success of the highest order.

Success is not executing a plan in every detail, but in responding appropriately to the situation in front of you.

Planning is essential

And being able to respond to the situation in front of you is what planning is all about.

Here’s my take on why planning is useful:

• Planning helps you get the lay of the land. (What’s happening?  When?  What do I need to have or do for these situations?)
• Planning helps you identify the big, important chunks of life and make sure they don’t get lost in the shuffle.
• Planning enables you to identify the fixed commitments (those people, events, etc, that everything else revolves around), and the flexible ones.
• Planning helps you identify and prepare for the most likely scenarios (Going out with a toddler?  It’s a good bet you’ll need a diaper or two and some snacks.)
• Planning also helps you indentify and prepare for alternative scenarios.  (You think you’ll be home before naptime, but better bring the blankie just in case!)
• Planning can give you some degree of choice. (You can choose when to do certain things, or in what order.)

And perhaps most importantly, planning can help lower your stress level by helping you to feel more in control of things.

The big distinction between plans and planning is that planning is active- it engages us with the world as we currently understand it.  But once made, the plan itself is static.  Which means that while the world is still changing, the plan is not.  No wonder plans are useless!

Is there any way to come up with plans that won’t dissolve into dust and leave us feeling like we’ve failed the minute they come into contact with the real world?

How planning is like cooking

I think you can tell a lot about someone by watching them cook.  Do they read the recipe carefully, all the way through and assemble their ingredients on the counter before they start?  Do they flip the page if they discover that they are out of fresh rosemary?

Or do they open a couple of cookbooks, read through a few recipes, get the basic idea and start to cook?  Throw in a little of this and a little of that, stir, taste, and adjust until it’s just the way they like it?  No fresh rosemary? No problem.  Would dried rosemary work? Or would the fresh basil be better?

Let’s just say that some people are more comfortable with more structure, and some are comfortable with less.

If you’ve been reading this blog for very long and are still digging it, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you’re one who needs a fair bit of room to move.  With that in mind, I have a few suggestions for how to approach planning so that you can enjoy the illusion of control for all it’s worth, and not beat yourself up when reality intervenes and your plans don’t go as planned.

If you think of plans like recipes, sometimes you need more precision and sometimes you need less.  Even I follow a recipe fairly closely when I’m baking because I know that a half teaspoon of baking soda can make a big difference.  When I’m making stew, or chili- I’m not going to measure the cumin!  I’ll just eyeball it.

I also think of a plan as a container.  Sometimes it’s a small container with a specific place for every item.  Sometimes it’s a bigger container and there’s more flow and movement.  Whatever kind of container I’m working with, there are four principles that help me make a plan that works.  Conveniently I’ve been able to find words for these that start with the first four letters of the alphabet!

Alternatives- Most of the time I do better with a plan that leaves me with some choices.  For example, I might plan 6 dinners for the week, but not what night I’m cooking which thing.

Buffers- When I make a plan, I’m much better about building in extra time or space between activities, events, etc.  When things inevitably take longer than I think, these buffers save me from additional stress.

Consolidate Decision-making – Making decisions takes enormous amounts of brain-capacity.  Consolidating your decision-making is much more efficient and you can see how the parts all fit together.  The reason menu planning is so helpful is that instead of deciding 7 times per week “what’s for dinner?” you decide on 7 dinners at once.

Draft- I consider all my plans to be drafts.  Works in progress.  Another ‘D’ word that works here is ‘dynamic.’  A plan has to evolve to meet the current situation.  Thinking of plans as drafts means that they are constantly being revised based on changing data.  Side benefit- with this understanding, a plan never fails- it just gets revised more thoroughly!    This also gives me room to consider possibilities that I don’t even know about.  If we get invited to go sledding on a Saturday morning, I’m very likely to ditch the plans for chores and housework.

Just like a recipe, a plan is there to serve you, to make your life easier and more enjoyable.  If you don’t like a recipe- change it!  If a plan isn’t meeting your needs or the needs of your family- change it!

So now it’s your turn….does the distinction between plans and planning shift your relationship with this whole idea?  What works for you/doesn’t work for you in making plans?  Got any helpful hints to share?

Please let us know in the comments!

If you live in CO, check out the workshop I’m doing in a couple of weeks! Click here for all the details!

Give yourself some room!

I’m going to keep this one short because I know I’m feeling the time crunch and I’m guessing just about every mom out there is feeling it too.

If there’s one piece of advice I could give us all this month it’s this:

Give yourself some room.

And I mean that on all kinds of levels.

In your schedule- give yourself some room.

Things are going to take longer than you think.

Traffic sucks.   The weather might be dicey.  Parking is a joke.  Everywhere you go, lines are long.  The store you’re in may not even have what you need, meaning you have to go to another store- or figure out plan B on the spot.

If you think you’re gonna dash in and get what you need real quick- fugeddaboutit!  Not gonna happen!

On a similar note- give your family some room.

Getting dressed and out the door for those holiday performances, parties, shopping trips, etc. etc.  will take longer than you think.

Chances are your standards are higher at this time of year.   I know my son can go a week without my noticing his hair- but the minute we get dressed to go somewhere, I’m sending him back to the bathroom for a comb.

It takes longer to button all those buttons than to pull on a T-shirt, or for the girls to find the “right” tights to go with their dresses.

Finding all the hats, mittens, boots and coats and getting everyone bundled up- it takes a while.

So give yourself some room so you’re not rushed and grumpy.

I hate to admit how many ‘fun’ events have started on a not so fun note as we race out of the house, grownups with that tight tone of voice that’s not exactly yelling- but might as well be.

Find some personal space and time.

For the next couple of weeks, there’s no school.  Days off of work, more people in your house for many more hours than you may be used to.  And I’m not even counting the guests!

Whatever normal personal routines you have are probably going to be shot- but do what you can to preserve your exercise time/journal time/meditation time.  Whatever you do to be able to hear yourself think- do it.

Give yourself some room to be alone- even if you have to hide in the upstairs bathroom for 15 or 20 minutes.  Take the dogs for a looonnnnggg walk.  Stop in for a coffee when you run to the grocery store for some vital missing ingredient.  Get your sweetie to take the kids ice-skating for a couple of hours.  (You can return the favor of course!)

Whatever- you’re a clever mom- you can think of some reason to get yourself out of the fray for a bit here and there.

Give yourself some room with your normal routine.

It’s going to be shot anyway- don’t stress about it!  Figure out what the essentials are and let the rest go for a while.

Give yourself some room with the normal rules and regulations.  Not to throw every principle of good nutrition and healthy child-rearing out the window, but could you cut yourself some slack with the sugar intake?  Bedtime enforcement?  TV restrictions?

Let me be very clear about this- this is for YOU, not your kid.  It’s not about acquiescing to their whines and demands for one more cookie, one more turn on the Wii.

It’s about you not getting stressed because you can’t hold the normal boundaries in abnormal circumstances.

Give your feelings (and those of your family) some room

Newsflash:  holidays aren’t all sweetness and light.  Hopefully there’s plenty of love, friendship, and good cheer in your life at the holidays, but harder feelings are often not far away.

Grief can be a visitor at this time, as can anger, disappointment, resentment, sadness, homesickness, and more.

Often these emotions float along just under the surface until something (or nothing) happens and they pop out.  Some people can tell you exactly where they come from and why they’re there, but for most of us, it will be more like a feeling of melancholy or even anger that comes over us for no reason we can see.

Children often use these times of closeness and warmth to show some of their hard feelings.  Jealousy might show up in a complaint that a sibling got more or better presents.   A tantrum on leaving Grandma’s house might cover their sadness at not seeing more of her.  And neither you nor they may ever know the real reason for their emotional ups and downs.

The simple point is this:  if you expect some hard feelings to come up, both for yourself and those around you, you can make room for them.  And if you can make room for them, they can come and go without disrupting the scheduled happiness too much.

And perhaps most important of all,

Give yourself and those around you room not to be perfect.

Stuff won’t all go down the way you want it to.  You might not find the perfect present for that difficult person.  You might not get the special present you were hoping for.  Your kids are going to make a mess of one sort or another.  Your husband might let you down.

You won’t be able to fulfill everyone’s expectations.  You probably won’t even be able to fulfill your own expectations.  And they won’t be able to fulfill yours.

And that’s OK.

In giving yourself room not to be perfect, you’re really giving yourself room to be you. In giving others room not to be perfect, you’re giving them room to be themselves.

And if you ask me, that’s the best gift any of us could give or receive.

Here’s one more thing to give yourself room for:   It’s a free teleclass: “First Aid for Holiday Overwhelm” and you can get all the details here.

It’s Thursday morning (THIS Thursday!) at 10 am Pacific/1 pm East Coast.

If you’re interested- do it now!  By the time you remember to come back and register, it will be all over!

So I’d love to know- what would you like to give yourself room for?  And how will you do this?

Please share in the comments!

Part 1 of this post is here, in which we discuss the phenomena of overwhelm and begin to get a grip.  When we left off, I had managed to calm myself somewhat with a few deep breaths and some time spent noticing what was really going on in my body, emotions and thought processes.

You may recall from this post a brief primer on neurobiology- but the upshot for today’s purposes is that the nervous system can either be in survival mode or critical thinking mode.  Never both at the same time.

When we’re in overwhelm, our nervous systems react as if there is a tiger about to eat us.  The range of options gets narrowed down to the basics:  fight, flight or freeze.  That’s where you get the racing heart, shallow breathing and the bizarre combination of hair-trigger reflexes and paralysis.  Executive functions like long range planning go right out the window.

Because none of the items on my plate are actual emergencies, the fight/flight/freeze responses are not all that helpful in actually getting anything done, never mind making a plan.

Noticing my breathing, feeling the anxiety and hearing the exaggerated doomsday scenarios in my head allow me to shift out of this state.

Once I’ve calmed myself, I can begin to switch from survival mode to higher-order thinking and actually make a plan.  (Quick note- the chemicals that are released during the experience of overwhelm take a while- from a few minutes to a few hours- to completely clear your system.  So be gentle!)

First, make a list

Getting the list out of my head and onto paper lets me see that what looked like an infinite list is not really infinite, no matter how many pieces of paper it takes!

Once I’ve got the list on paper, I often see that what I put as one item really involves several steps.  For instance: “Write articles” is not just one action.  If I have three articles, it’s at least three steps.  But of course it’s more than that.  The simplest article requires at least one or two interviews before I even begin to write.  So for one article the list looks something like this:

• Find phone number for X
• Call X (Interview or set up time for interview)
• Interview X
• Write article (I’m chunking several steps together here!)
• Write photo cap (if necessary)
• Email editor.
• Don’t forget to attach article and photo!

While it may seem that breaking this one task down into so many more steps would lead to more overwhelm, my experience is that it does just the opposite.

Overwhelm says, “I can’t do it all.”

Breaking things down makes it much easier to take the first action- EVEN IF I’m still in the grip of overwhelm.

I say to myself, “Even if I can’t do it all, I can at the very least find the phone number.”

And then, “Even if I can’t do it all, I can at least call this person.”

Taking some action, no matter how small it may seem, means I’m no longer paralyzed.

And one small action leads to another, which leads to another… and before you know it, things are getting done.

Make a plan

The other reason to break things down into their most basic steps is that it helps me see how to sequence tasks and when I can do each one.  Here’s where the higher-order thinking skills come in handy.  I have to find the phone number before I can call the person.  Sounds simple, but I’m guessing I’m not the only one that ends up spinning in circles over something like this.  Some things on my list can happen only during business hours.   Some things can only happen after business hours.  Some things (like writing) can be done late at night.

The next step is to take my list of concrete actions and my calendar and figure out (roughly) how long each might take and (roughly) when I’m going to do each thing.  The neo-cortex is back in action, planning and strategizing.

This probably more than anything else helps calm the feeling of overwhelm.  Even if I haven’t actually DONE any of the action items, knowing when they are going to get done calms the nervous system.  I can actually notice my breathing shift, and the panicked feelings subside.

Sometimes this exercise reveals that it actually will be impossible to do everything.

In this case, I still have more options than when I’m in overwhelm.  When I can see that it’s just not gonna happen- there are simply not enough hours between now and then, I can start to manage my commitments.

I can identify those that have ‘hard’ deadlines and those that are softer.  What can I change, rearrange, reschedule?  What can’t I?

Are there standing commitments I have (like yoga class) that I’m willing or able to let slide this week?

Which of the consequences that are actually likely to occur (not the worst case scenarios I imagine in the throes of overwhelm) am I most willing/unwilling to deal with?

What phone calls, emails, conversations do I need to have to make the necessary arrangements or adjustments?

Sometimes breaking things down reveals at least a couple of items that can be delegated.  When I broke down “mom/dad birthdays” into its more basic parts, I realized that I already had cards for them both (major accomplishment there!) and a present for my mom.  So I was left with this list:

• Buy present (dad)
• Wrap presents
• Mail presents

I’m the only one who could do item 1.  I could potentially delegate item two, but I probably won’t.   But item three… now there’s a good candidate for delegation.  My husband goes by the post office a couple of times a week.  Chances are good that if I get the packages ready, he’d be happy to drop them in the mail for me.

Without chunking down, I could never have seen any part of this task as one I wouldn’t have to do.

Overwhelm says, “I can’t do it all,” and implies that we have to do it all alone.

Delegating, or asking for help says, “I’m not alone.  I don’t have to do it all by myself.”

With my list and my plan, courtesy of the neocortex, I’m in much better shape.  Now, some of that adrenaline that may still be floating around in my system can actually help me kick it into high gear and start getting it done!

The Clip and Save Checklist:

I don’t know a mom anywhere who doesn’t feel overwhelmed at some time or other.   The next time you’re in the grip of that panicky feeling and find yourself spinning in circles, give yourself a few minutes to give this a try, even though you might not want to!  It’s OK.  Allow yourself not to want to.  And then give it a try anyway.

• Check in with your breathing.  Observe your body as it moves through space.
• Notice your emotions.  What are you feeling?  No need to judge or try to change them, just notice.
• Listen carefully to the voices in your head.  What are they saying?  Is it true?  Really true?   How would you know if it weren’t?
• Make a list- a long and through list.
• Make a plan- what will you do and when will you do it?
• Renegotiate if necessary
• Delegate and connect if possible
• Even though you can’t do it all, do one small thing.  Rinse and repeat.

What helps you manage (or avoid!) overwhelm?  Let us know in the comments!

If you liked this, check out other posts under “This is your brain on children.”

One day at a time

When I saw this card in the shop, I simply HAD to have it.  I keep it in my binder to remind me that it’s not just me.

Nearly every mom I know feels completely overwhelmed from time to time.  It’s hitting me this week with a vengeance.  Obligations that once seemed soooo far away are all of a sudden upon me.  It’s deadline week, both my parents birthdays are this week and I’m on for doing a talk at my women’s networking group.  None of these are exactly surprises, or last minute matters, but they’re all hitting at the same time.  And then there’s the normal life stuff which can be broken down into biz life, home life and volunteer life.  Nothing urgent on those fronts, but enough regular commitments to keep me busy in a “normal” week and more than enough to flip me into overwhelm this week.

Since I’m there, I figured I might as well use this opportunity to dissect the phenomena of overwhelm in order to help myself- and perhaps one or two other moms as well.

Symptoms of Overwhelm:

When I work with clients, I often have them describe their experience in terms of the physical sensations, emotional responses and thoughts/words that are running.

So when I check into my physical sensations, I notice that my breathing is shallow and fairly rapid and there’s a tightness in my stomach.  I’m feeling jittery, moving quickly from task to task, (either mentally or physically) without bringing any of them to completion.

Sometimes (though not at this moment) overwhelm manifests as a feeling of physical exhaustion.  Inertia sets in and I’m unable to move at all.

Right now, my thoughts and words are scattered and moving rapidly.  I’m pretty sure my voice is coming out just a bit louder than normal and I can hear an edge to it.

Emotionally, I’m feeling fearful.  At its worst, overwhelm brings on feelings almost like panic.  Right now, in addition to the fear and anxiety, I feel isolated and unconnected from those around me.  This is showing up in this moment as annoyance and irritability.

Mentally, I’m not very sharp at all.  For me, thinking I must be losing my mind is often an early warning signal of overwhelm.  My short-term memory seems to be non-existent as I find myself wondering what I’m doing in the kitchen or who I was just going to call.

The thoughts looping through my head sound like this:

• I’ll never be able to get it all done.
• These people (my family, people calling on the phone, anyone who looks like a distraction at this moment) are totally in my way- if they’d just go away and leave me alone I could get all this stuff done.
• If I weren’t so disorganized, I could get it all done.
• If I weren’t such an idiot, I would have planned better and not gotten myself into this situation AGAIN!
• You always do this to yourself.
• I’m totally incompetent and they’re all going to finally figure it out.
• They’re all going to be disappointed because I’m doing such a crappy job on this.
• They’re all going to hate me.
• No one can help me.
• I have to do all this stuff all by myself.

And so on and so on.

Oy…

Notice how these aspects form a very tight and coherent system.  The thoughts reinforce the emotions of fear and isolation.  The physical sensations are of an organism that’s on high-alert.  When the voices are so loud and annoying, there’s virtually no chance of completing a thought process or task efficiently.

Is it any wonder I’m spinning in a circle that gets tighter and tighter with every revolution?

So what helps?  How am I going to get myself out of this mess?

First of all, just notice what’s going on.

Noticing that my breathing is shallow, I can decide to take a deeper breath.  Or if even that is too much for the moment, I can just notice my breathing without judgment.

Being aware of my emotions and holding myself gently in them.  “Oh, so I guess I’m feeling a little scared.”  “I really am feeling isolated.”  Not rushing in to do anything about it (because that would just give me one more thing to do) but really holding the gentle awareness of what I’m feeling at this very moment.

Slowing down just enough to really listen to the voices in my head.  Until I typed that list, I really had no clear idea of what they were actually saying.  I could hear the general tone of the din, but not the actual words.  Having it out there in black and white, I can see that these thoughts are clearly not the literal truth.

Words like “always,” “never,” “they,” and other forms of exaggeration or generalization are usually a clue that I’m not solidly in touch with reality.  But again, rather than argue with these voices, a more gentle form of engagement is possible.

Reality Check

“They’re all going to hate me.”  Oh really?  Who are ‘they’ anyway?  And will they really hate you?  What do you think that would look  like?

When I think of the actual people in my life, it’s easy to see that these concrete individuals would never hate me, even if I don’t get all the stuff on my list taken care of.

When I get to this point, I can ask questions like, “So what’s the worst thing that really might happen if you don’t get X done?”

When I do this I get a good chuckle at myself because the truth of the matter is that I’m really not all that important.  The voices in my head seem to have an exaggerated sense of their/my importance.  But the fact is that if none of the things that feel so ridiculously urgent at this moment get done, the consequences are really pretty minor, compared with the racket in my head.  The world will not come to an end, and no one is going to die because of anything I do or don’t do in the next week.

If my articles are late, it’s not like the front page of the New York Times will have a huge blank spot.   I won’t even get fired.  Realistically, it will mean that the editor is crunched on her deadline.  If I’m really late, the layout person could be inconvenienced because she won’t be able to finish the layout… etc, etc.  So there are real consequences- but nothing like those that run around in my head.

If the birthday presents don’t arrive on time, will my parents disown me?  Of course not.  Frankly, they would probably be more surprised if I do get their gifts there on time.  Either way, in a month, none of us will remember when the packages arrived.

As for the talk to my networking group, this one feels important because it’s an opportunity I don’t want to miss.  I know I can pull something together on the fly and it will be OK.  But I’m going for more than OK here.  The truth is that this group may or may not notice a huge difference, but I will.  So this one is more about not disappointing myself than anyone else.

Ahhhhh….

So, with a bit of breathing, levity and clarity, the overwhelm has loosed its grip just a smidge.  Now I can start to think a little more clearly and make a plan.  Since this post is already WAY long, I’ll fill you in on this bit next time.

Does this ring any bells for you?  How does overwhelm hit you physically, emotionally and mentally?  What soundtrack loops in your head in those hard moments?  What helps you overcome overwhelm?

Let us know in the comments!

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