Do you know the Volunteer Queen? Is it possible that you ARE the volunteer queen?
Well ask yourself this:

• How many times have you heard, “We just couldn’t do it without you?”
• Is your date book jammed with more projects, meetings and phone calls than a Fortune 500 exec?
• Between school, church, scouts, sports teams, community groups and all the rest, do you hold more than 3 officer positions?

(PLEASE tell me you aren’t president/chair/chief muckety muck of more than ONE!)

If that’s not you, it’s definitely me… or was anyway.

Need a volunteer to drive for the field trip? I’m in.

Need someone to help out in the classroom? No problem.

Bake muffins for the open house? yup.

Bring paper goods for the potluck? check..

Need someone to come early? Stay late? I’m there.

Organize? Coordinate? Got it covered…

My husband has said to me on more than one occasion, “For a stay-at-home mom, you’re not around very much!” And he’s right…

I’m thinking of starting a 12 step program for Volunteers Anonymous. We’d know that someone was really on the road to recovery when she DIDN’T volunteer to bring snacks!

Not that I think volunteerism is a bad thing- not at all. Schools,churches, scouts, sports teams and presidential campaigns could never function without them. And I’m oh so grateful for the many hours and amazing efforts that moms everywhere put into their volunteer projects.

Most moms I know volunteer because they want to make a positive difference in the world whether it’s through the school, church group, or other form of community service.
We get to use our skills and talents to make changes we want to see in the world.

But I see the underbelly of an addiction to volunteering. It feels great to hear someone sing your praises and feel like the hero.

I admit it, I love it!

Like anything else, when taken to excess, volunteering has it’s shadow side. Have you ever gotten in over your head and something that was supposed to be a fun and positive experience turns ugly?

More than once I’ve found myself muttering, “What WAS I thinking?”

This can happen when I end up with a role or job that doesn’t suit my temperament or talents.

I’ll bake cookies ’til the cows come home, but dear God, don’t ask me to sew anything.

I’ll write articles, newsletters, annual reports, etc., but I would rather chew glass than do data entry.

Or when I take on too many projects because they do suit me and sound like fun.

Two articles a newsletter and the annual report, by the end of the week… SURE!

At that point all the good vibes disappear in a fog of resentment. And by then, I’m SO not feeling the love!

Unfortunately for most of us cruising in the Mom Lane, going cold turkey isn’t really the answer.

Let’s face it, the world as we know it would cease to exist if mom volunteers pulled the plug.

Besides, it can be really rewarding and lots of fun to be involved in community life in this way.

But we need to know when to say when!

I’m not about to stop volunteering- just like I’m not going to stop drinking…. It’s all about moderation and choice.

So what about you? Are you a candidate for VA? What volunteer roles do you love and which could you do without?

Do you drive your kids around to soccer, dance, little league, karate, gymnastics, etc. because you know that physical activity is a good thing, but complain because you aren’t in the kind of shape you’d like to be in? Are you so busy with all the other stuff that you have to do that you rarely have time for a run, walk, bike ride, step or yoga class for yourself?

well… I have my regular routine here. I get myself to the gym for a killer boot camp class two mornings a week and to yoga once a week. One of these days (SOON!) I’m gonna have to get my butt out and start training for the 1/2 marathon I signed up for in September.

But I admit, this is one of the first things to go when things get crazy… and then I get crazy. A week without my regular yoga class I can handle- two weeks in a row… GRRR!

You’d think that after 9 years of getting up before the sun to go run or work out, I’d find it easy to do.

WRONG…

Every dang morning I try to talk myself out of it. Some days I succeed and succumb to the warm softness of the bed.

But then I kick myself for the rest of the day. And that gets old!

My husband is a real support here. If he senses that I’m about to shut off the alarm and roll over, he reminds me that I always feel better when I get up and get out there.

And he’s right.

Especially when I’m graced with the incredible sight of the sun coming up and turning the mountains all shades of pink. That’s the best part of all.

But it’s a battle every morning.

Maybe you support your kid’s artistic pursuits: music lessons, drama camp, art enrichment and all that, but you haven’t touched the piano in years, and the most creative thing you’ve done lately is cut your kid’s sandwiches into cute shapes?

This is a big one for me. I realized when we started music classes with our son when he was a toddler just how much I’d missed having music be a regular part of my life. These days, I sing with an Agnella group and have joined my son in learning to play the violin. (He’s much better than I am- but he practices a lot more!)

It’s my firm conviction that we all intrinsically creative beings, and need regular outlets for this creativity, otherwise it gets all jammed up and makes us cranky. Whether it’s cooking, gardening, scrapbooking, singing, dancing, painting,

WHATEVER…

We all need some kind of creative expression like we need food and water.

These are two more areas where I see moms taking such good care of their kids, and not such good care of themselves!

How about you? What keep your body and spirit energized? Do you have a favorite run, a class you love, or a group to create with? What do you have to do to make it happen?

Let us know!

Do you rush around like a madwoman in the morning making sure everyone else is fed and ready for the day while you slug down a cup of lukewarm coffee?

oh wait… that’s me… only I drink tea. And I have a strict policy that I will only reheat a cup of tea 3 times in the microwave. After that, I start a new cup.

Do you pack your kids off to school with a lunch that includes at least three of the four major food groups (including the carrots that hardly ever get eaten) only to realize that it’s 2 in the afternoon, you haven’t eaten all day (no wonder you’re so cranky!) and the only reasonable thing to do is inhale the leftovers from 2 nights ago?

me again… another policy: I only send the carrots back twice. After that, it’s compost time. And if I don’t get fed, I get cranky WAY before 2!

Would someone please explain to me why mothers who are so dedicated to their children’s heath and nutrition are so bad at taking care of themselves in this department?

Feeding our families is an act of love and caring. Don’t we deserve the same?

Seriously!

So what did you have for lunch today? And perhaps a better question:
what will you have for lunch tomorrow?

Hey you, there in the minivan/station wagon/hybrid taking your kid to violin lessons, or is it soccer practice today?

I think I saw you volunteering at the school the other day, or maybe it was at the park watching the kids play.

I know I’ve seen you at the coffee shop every now and then chatting with some friends. You look like you know how to laugh!

And aren’t you the one that’s in a book group with another friend of mine? She says you always have something interesting to say.

I heard you had quite an interesting life before you had kids. You were in the Peace Corps, or was it grad. school?

No wait- you were an artist, writer, social activist? Or maybe you were on the fast track to partner, promotion or tenure. Bright, talented and passionate, you were out there making your mark on the world.

And then you had a kid or two (or more!) Maybe it was a conscious decision, maybe it just happened but here you are now, the one responsible for the care and feeding of your family.
Now you’re in the world of carpools and PTAs, squeezing in a workout at the gym between grocery shopping and taxi service.

That’s what I call

Life in the Mom Lane

Some days it seems slower than life BC (Before Children) and other days it seems much, much faster. Some days I can’t figure out how I got here, and other days I can’t imagine being anywhere else.

Anyway, I think I’ve seen you there and you look like my kind of gal. I’d like to get to know you better, so get yourself a cup of tea, grab a comfy spot to curl up with a warm laptop and let’s hang out OK? Let me know how life in the Mom lane is going for you.