Well, I’m determined to put something up today, but I’m going to keep it short because it’s deadline week (again!) and I have some juicy stuff to get up on the website and then a newsletter to write to get the word out about all the cool stuff that’s coming up soon….

This is kind of a do-over, but it also connects to the series of being stuck in our own stories….

You’ve probably heard the notion that generals are always fighting the last war?  In particular, they always seem to focus on what went wrong and making sure that THAT doesn’t happen again.

We can certainly see this idea at work in the ever-more-absurd screening process you have to endure before getting on a plane these days.

Some bozo had a bomb in his shoe- OK we’ll all take off our shoes now.

Someone planned to use liquids to bomb a plane- so we all empty our water bottles, and all our toiletries now come in itty bitty tubes and vials.

I’ve ranted and raved about how stupid this is, but was rudely reminded this week that we all do this: focus on our mistakes, where things went wrong, and do whatever we can to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

On the one hand, this makes perfect sense.  It would be a shame not to learn from our past mistakes.  But let’s just say this strategy has its limitations…

It all started with a ball cap

Sometime in the last year, AJ lost a ball cap on a plane.  It was no big deal, not a priceless, autographed heirloom by any means, but it was annoying (to me) to have lost it.  And therefore when AJ and I left last Wednesday for a short trip to TX, I was a royal pain in the butt about his hat.  He wore it in the car on the way to the airport and as we were waiting in the security line, I bugged him to put it into his backpack so he wouldn’t lose it.  He resisted, said he wouldn’t lose it this time, but I wasn’t about to take any chances.

I kept on bugging him, and finally (probably just to shut me up) he took it off and stuck it in his backpack.  But I still wasn’t satisfied because he stuck it in the outer mesh pocket of the backpack.

I wanted it inside the zippered part, where it couldn’t possibly fall out.

Can you tell that I was completely convinced that only my constant vigilance was going to keep this hat from joining the other one in the land of lost stuff?

Part of the background here is that I’ve been known to be a little scattered.  It’s part of my right-brained nature, and for the most part, I manage OK.  But I’m a little defensive about it, and I really do hate losing stuff.  One of my stories is that ‘competent grown-ups don’t lose stuff.’  And of course I want to be a competent grown up because the alternative seems to be ‘hopeless, incompetent idiot.’  So, of course, I am bound and determined to be a fully competent grown-up and not lose the hat this time around.

We hit the ground in Dallas and guess what I’m asking?

“Do you have your hat?”

“Yes mom, I have my hat.”

We exit the aircraft with the hat, and I’m ready to declare victory (at least until the next flight!).

We have the hat but….

It’s not until later that evening when we’re on our way to dinner and I tell AJ to grab his sweatshirt that we realize that the sweatshirt is nowhere to be found.  In fact, neither of us has seen it since he got on the plane and unzipped it.

Yup… you guessed it.

We left it on the plane.

I wish I could say that it was stuffed under the seat in front of him or somewhere out of sight.  But no, it was right there in plain sight.

On his seat.

I never even looked.  I was too busy worrying about the blasted hat.

The good news is that after numerous attempts to contact a live human being, I learned that the sweatshirt was safe and sound in the baggage claim and we recovered the sweatshirt on our way home.

The moral of the story?

I’m all for airline safety.  I really am.  But I get a bit peeved at the lack of imagination that the TSA shows in creating its policies and practices.  Let’s face it, now that the shoe thing has been done, do we really think someone’s going to try THAT trick again?

But in my obsessive focus on the hat, I was operating out of exactly the same kind of thinking.  I was determined not to lose the hat.  And guess what- we didn’t lose the hat.  But my narrow view of the outcome to be avoided meant I missed the bigger picture.

Has anything like this ever happened to you?  Have you ever been so committed to avoiding one problematic situation that you create another?

Please share in the comments!

Well as you can tell, I’m still finding my feet with my new posting schedule… but I’m going to give it a few more weeks before I make any rash decisions.  New habits take time to get solidly established- even when the old ones aren’t working.

So on to this week’s triumphs and ummm, uhhhh, moments of lesser glory!

Do-Overs

No School and No Plan

Boy, this one really caught me off guard.  Parent/teacher conferences this week, meaning half days of school Monday through Wednesday.  Thursday is always a half-day.  And Friday, because of the weather, we were given the option to pick the kids up at lunchtime.  (I declined.)  A whole week of early dismissal… give me a break!

It turned out fine- AJ went to a friend’s one afternoon, I had a house full of boys here one afternoon, and it was really OK, I just felt blindsided by the whole situation.  Which wouldn’t have happened if my calendar and I had been on better terms the week before.

But it did throw me off my game, and meant that lots of things I’d planned to do just didn’t happen.

Guardians at the gate… grrr

One of the things on my list for this week was to drop all the stuff I’d cleared out for the middle school garage sale.  It had been living in the back of the SUV since the weekend before when I got all industrious and cleaned closets, etc.  The sale was happening off campus and so we were asked to drop donations at the home of a radio show during regular office hours.  The notice in the newsletter said

If items are dropped off between 11-1, please be quiet because a live radio show is in production during that time.

So I spend my morning writing, working, what-have-you and take a little breather and run some errands around 11, thinking I’ll drop my stuff and be done with it.

Nice try.  The receptionist politely, but firmly tells me that there’s no possible way I can unload my stuff because they’re doing a live radio show.

“But they said in the newsletter…..” and “I’ll be really quiet…”

Not remotely persuasive to her.

Grumble, grumble, kvetch, whine, moan…

The funny thing is that I was mildly annoyed at whoever put the info in the newsletter, and mildly peeved at the receptionist, but mostly I was irritated because I felt like I should have known better.  There was a question lingering in my mind about why (or whether) they would really let people come in (even if they promised to be quiet!) during a live radio show.

Moral of the story: listen to that little voice inside.  It usually knows something!

High-Fives!

Vision Therapy Complete!

AJ’s journey with vision therapy has come to a successful end- at least for now.  No more weekly trips to the therapist, and no more exercises at home 5 days a week.  DH was really the point person on this one, so lots of credit goes to him for making it happen week after week.  AJ himself won’t cop to noticing any difference, but it seems like reading is not nearly the struggle it once was, and his teacher definitely notices a difference.  It was a big time commitment and a big financial commitment, so I’m glad it worked, and I’m glad it’s done!

Musical fun!

AJ passed his Suzuki Book 2 test and joined the youth orchestra.

The true high-five from my perspective on the orchestra bit has to do with timing.  His teacher (who conducts this group) had been encouraging AJ to audition way back in the fall.  We had a lot going on and I didn’t want to add one more weekly commitment, so we passed.

After their fall concert in November, he suggested again that AJ give it a try.  They were starting on new music and so it would be a good time for AJ to jump in and not feel too far behind the other kids.  He was reluctant, but I pushed and we went to two rehearsals.  He was totally lost, and not a happy camper.

My ‘pleasing people’ tendencies would have had him stick it out, but AJ was very clear that he did not want to do orchestra.  So I broke the news to his teacher and that was that.

Until a couple of weeks ago, when the teacher brought it up again.  The spring concert was coming up and maybe we’d like to come see what the orchestra sounded like, and then after the concert would be another opportunity for AJ to start.

Well, for whatever reason, the time was right.  We went to the first rehearsal last week and AJ got his parts for an arrangement of Vivaldi’s Spring and Glinka’s Russlan and Ludmilla Overture.  The Glinka is a bear (and will be performed with one of the more advanced orchestras) but the Vivaldi is really manageable.

And AJ is totally into it.  He’s wanted to practice that piece first thing every night since he got it.  And when he found out that there wouldn’t be any rehearsals for two weeks (spring break) he was seriously bummed.

I’m sure the honeymoon won’t last forever and at some point he’ll complain and not want to go- but for now, I’m just tickled that he’s having so much fun.

Teleclass!

What can I say, it was just a blast to talk to some great moms on Tuesday.  I always end up wishing we had more time… Not sure that will ever change!

Live class!

This class ended a couple of weeks ago, but we’re having so much fun we’ve decided to keep going.  The only real obstacle was finding a place to do it, but one of the moms has an office above her garage we can use at least for now.  I love it when it’s easy!

As I’ve been writing this, the rain has turned to snow.  And if the forecast is right, there could be a fair bit on the ground before it’s all said and done.

Now it’s your turn…

Got anything you’d like to do-over from last week?  Something to celebrate (large or small)?

Let us know in the comments!

This is one of those weeks where my normal schedule has been thrown so totally out of whack that I’m not totally

Snow covered planters

sure what day it is…. But according to the calendar it’s Friday, so time for the weekly reflection on what went well and what I’d like to do over…

Do-Overs

No plan

As I looked back over this week, I realized that I was plenty busy, but didn’t really get much accomplished.  And then I realized that I hadn’t done much in the way of planning this week.  I hadn’t identified anything either in the work domain or in the ‘life’ domain that I seriously wanted/needed to get done.

And guess what?   Nothing serious got done.

Given that we had two snow days this week, and I wasn’t feeling my best, maybe that was a good thing, Whatever plans I had made for this week would have necessarily changed- but I have to think that having at least one major objective would have given my week some shape and structure.  Even if I didn’t get it all done, I would have made progress on something significant.

Maybe there’s a post in there about the frustration that comes from having one’s plans thwarted, vs. the frustration that comes from not having a plan…

Feeling punky

Well this isn’t exactly a do-over but I seem to have caught a very mild version of whatever crud is going around (no- it wasn’t the flu!).  Just a little stuffy, drippy, coughy….   It felt kind of like my brains had been replaced with slightly used tissues…  Fortunately, I was able to take it easy (including my decision to ditch Tuesday’s blog post) and I’m feeling much better now.

The bummer of it was that I really wasn’t feeling up to playing in the snow with AJ and his friends.  I didn’t even get out for a walk when it was all nice and quiet outside which I love to do.

Oh, well… I’m sure there’s more snow coming this winter.  I’ll be out there sledding with the best of them at some point!

High-Fives

Snow!!

I love the snow.  Having grown up in Texas, it’s still such a novelty to me that I get almost as excited as the kids do.  I love how it softens everything.  The sounds, the shapes, and our routines are all smoothed over with the blanket of white.

We had two days home this week and AJ had a blast playing with his friends.

Walking in a winter wonderland

Saturday, AJ was hanging out with a friend, so DH and I went up to Rocky Mountain National Park for a hike.   As much as I love hiking with our son, it was great to move at a quicker pace and go farther than we would have if he’d been along.  It snowed lightly on us for the whole time, and by the time we were coming down, the ground was covered with a dusting that always reminds me of powdered sugar.  It truly was walking in a winter wonderland!

The real high-five of this one was managing the divergent desires and logistics to make it all happen.  In the end, the plan came together beautifully, but it was a long road to get there!

Rockapella

Friday night we went to a great concert of a capella music.  Now if you’re thinking (yawn) barbershop, think again.  These guys rocked the house.  I actually was wishing I’d brought earplugs- at least for my son.  Our local favorite band FACE was there, along with some other well known a cappella groups like the Bobs, and the House Jacks.

We also got to see Blake Lewis of American Idol fame.  I had no idea who he was, since I live under a rock as far as pop culture goes, but AJ was fascinated by what Blake could do with his voice, a mic and all his electronic toys.  I think AJ might have added a loop pedal to his Christmas wish list!

That’s about all for me.  How about you?  Got anything you’d like to do-over from this week?  Got any high-fives to share?   Let us know in the comments!

Because it’s Friday and time for the weekly round up of the good, and the hard, the lessons learned and the things worth celebrating.

Do-Overs

Honestly, this was kind of a quiet regrouping week after last week’s deadline induced insanity.

I’m not coming up with any do-overs off the top of my head this week- though I’m sure my family could probably think of one or two little things they wish I’d do over!

High-fives

Picking up the pieces…

Lots of little things fell through the cracks last week.  Any non-urgent phone calls, emails, errands, etc. didn’t happen.  So this week, lots of them did happen.  Nothing earth shattering- but just nice to get some loose ends taken care of.

Yarn is fun!

Since my yarn stash grew so much last weekend, I’ve been in a tizzy trying to decide what to knit first.  I also got moving again on a sweater for my son that had been stalled out for a while.  At this point, I think I’m over the hump with this one and it should be finished in a matter of weeks.  Meantime, I’m playing with my new pretties figuring out gauges and thinking about patterns.

Food glorious food!

We’re finishing up the last of our bountiful garden produce.  This week I made a yummy eggplant lasagna with this recipe here.  It’s super easy- though when I made it as written, it turned out pretty soggy.  This time, I blended the tomatoes as recommended, but then cooked the puree down for about 20 minutes.  Still easy- but a much better consistency for the sauce.

I’m also having fun making homemade yougurt.  Again- easy, tasty and no multisyllabic ingredients.

Book sale score!

I lucked into the first day of the annual book sale at the local mall.  I was there early enough that the professional book dealers were combing the boxes for the genuine treasures.  I wasn’t looking for anything in particular, but came away with some great stuff.  The one I dug into first was Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin.  I’m about ten pages from the end and it’s one of those books I’ll be sorry to finish because it’s so good.  If you want a dose of inspiration- check it out.

And just for laughs

I’m not really sure how to categorize this one- maybe you can tell me!

Earlier this week my son was reading to himself and asked, “Mommy, what’s a TV dinner?”  I chuckled to myself as I replied, “It’s a frozen dinner.”

On the one hand, I was surprised that he wouldn’t know this- but then realized that my mealtime desperation had led to some… creative shall we say…  dinners, (and more mac and cheese than I care to admit!) but I just don’t think to find salvation in the frozen food aisle.  So I was moderately pleased that I’d managed to achieve this.

Then it occurred to me that perhaps I had been depriving him of an important experience.  It’s been decades since I ate one of these things, but I always chose mine for the dessert.  That little brownie that was always a little crusty on the outside and chewy on the inside…. And what’s not to love about the corn kernels drifting into the turkey and gravy?  Anyway… it occurred to me that next time DH travels for work, I might invite  AJ to sample such an exotic meal.

Then again, I might not!

That’s about it for me… what about you?  What do you wish you could do-over from this week?  Got any High-Fives to celebrate?  Please share in the comments!

Hope you have a totally awesome weekend!!

pile o' yarn

Well this week’s edition is late- but I have a really good excuse… I went yarn shopping last night instead of writing this post.   Details in the Hi-fives- but just look at this stuff would you?  How could I resist?

Do-Overs

The worst part of my week happened Monday night when I was sure that I was the worst mommy on the planet.  AJ was upset because his violin teacher had wanted me to hear a common mistake in the piece he is learning, but didn’t want him to hear it.  For whatever reason, AJ took great offense at this and gave me a hard time about it all the way home.  I did my best to soothe his feelings of being excluded, to explain the reason for not wanting him to hear the mistake played, etc.  All to no avail.  He was full of righteous indignation and sarcasm.   Not a happy combination.

Probably because I hadn’t yet processed my own impending feelings of overwhelm, I snapped.

I snapped in my own head, and I snapped at him.  “FINE, you want to hear the mistake- it sound like this…  Are you happy now??”

And then I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

Instead I went into my room and hid under the covers gave myself a time out.

As I was lying there I realized that I was bent out of shape because I had failed to hold my boundaries, and then blamed him for my failure.  I had somehow turned myself into a victim of a 9 year old.

Ouch.

I could of think of all the things he had done wrong, and how things might have gone so much better if he’d only listened to and accepted my explanations…

But as I see it now, I had simply failed to be the grownup.  There’s a quote that I love:

Parents are the bones on which children sharpen their teeth.

– Peter Ustinov

Kids are supposed to push and keep pushing.  But they can only push if there’s something solid enough to push on.

Lying there in the dark, I realized that this was a preview of the years to come, and that I’d better get used to holding the line.  And that I might need to give myself some space to think about which lines I’m really committed to holding, and which are more reflexive.

Even after I apologized, dinner was a little strained, but we got it all sorted out by bedtime.

Baking powder, NOT baking soda…

Well this is a little thing, but I was making scones this morning and because I was bopping along with Bonnie Raitt this morning, I misread my recipe.  I tried to scoop some of the excess baking soda out, but these scones are a little spongier than normal and have that distinctive baking-soda taste.

Not so great…  Oh well.  I guess I’ll make another batch maybe next weekend.

Hi-fives

Overwhelm dissolved and missions accomplished

As usual, the overwhelm that often accompanies deadline week was temporary.   In case you missed it, you can read the gory details here.  I got everything done, even when I didn’t feel so great on Tuesday and spent the afternoon taking what was apparently a much needed nap.  Either I chased off some bug that was trying to get me, or my body was just letting me know that it didn’t appreciate all the stress hormones circulating.  Anyway- after a 4 hour nap, I was back to my normal self.

The yarn

Would you just look at the fabulous yarn?  A yarn store nearby went out of business a while ago and the owner has been selling off her inventory at small ‘yarn parties.’  I missed the first one, but was determined to make this one.

When I got home last night, AJ was in bed but still awake so I went in to say good night.  He asked how much yarn I’d bought and I told him 25 balls.  He was shocked and asked if it was hard to buy that much yarn.  I laughed and told him, “No- the hard part was deciding what NOT to buy!”

I had no way of knowing what I’d find, or how much of any one yarn there would be. So the real high five is that because I remembered to bring a couple of books and patterns with me, I actually have plans for more than half of this yarn.  It may take me a while, but I see one sweater, one shawl and at least 2 or 3 scarves in this pile.

Sunshine!

The sun has finally returned to normally sunny Colorado.  We had a long spell (for us) of clouds and fog.  I’m totally solar powered so after about three days, I’m really ready to see blue sky and shadows.

Here’s hoping you have a fantabulous weekend!

How about you?  Got anything you’d like to do-over from this week?  Got any high-fives to share?

Let us know in the comments!

If you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss a single post!

Just in case you’re one of the handful of folks who missed me the last couple of weeks, I missed  you, too!  I definitely missed the chance to review the week, taking note of the highs and lows.

So, just like I wouldn’t give up running altogether just because I missed a few days (or weeks!), I’m not dropping this routine either.

Do-Overs:

Sleep is good

Now I’m remembering why l didn’t post the last two Fridays…  DH spent most of the last two weeks out of town- leaving early in the week and coming home on Friday.  So I was doing single mom duty.  Now that AJ is older, it’s really not so hard to manage.  But I wasn’t getting myself to sleep at any reasonable hour.  By the time I got him off to bed, which was later than usual, I had a list of things I wanted/needed to get done.  Mostly emails, etc.  But then I would get sucked into who knows what and when I looked up- it was 11:30 or so.  (There was at least one high-five moment from all this, however, so keep reading!)

Just decide already….

A fair bit of family drama was caused last week because AJ wanted to do something and DH and I spent the week leaving voicemail messages back and forth about it, without a chance to actually have a conversation and thus without  any clear resolution.  AJ kept wanting to have an answer, I wanted to give him one, but it just wasn’t coming together.  It was frustrating for everyone.

One of the things I don’t mind about his travel is that there’s not anyone else to consult on certain matters.  I make the call, and for better or worse, that’s the end of the conversation.  If it turns out to be a disaster, well, I’m the one picking up the pieces.

Lesson learned:  just decide already!

Expectations lead to difficulties, requests lead to satisfaction

This is a constant practice for me.  I find myself walking around thinking/hoping that what I need and want will be obvious to those around me.  Guess what?  It’s not.

After two solid weeks of making breakfast and lunch every morning, I was kind of hoping for a little break this Monday when DH was finally home.  We have a regularly occurring division of labor here- he makes lunches on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I’m at boot camp, but I was hoping that just maybe he’d volunteer to take care of making AJ’s lunch.

When it became clear that he was planning to go for a run, and not even thinking about lunch, I got grumpy.

Did I ask him to make the lunch and he’d refused?  No.

Did I even mention that I would appreciate a break?  No.

Observant soul that he is, he noticed the growling and asked me what was up.  Then and only then did I mention that I’d been making lunches for two weeks straight, and would appreciate it if he could maybe take care of this one.

Once I said something, he was happy to comply- made the lunch while I showered and then went for his run.

As I said, this is a constant practice for me- noticing what I want/need and then asking for it.

High Fives

There were lots of these- so I’ll just hit a few.

Newfield ROCKS!

I got to spend four days with the fabulous folks at the Newfield Network.  The first conference was this weekend and I got to see Julio Olalla work his magic, dance with Josephina and get reminded of how powerful this work is and why I love it so much.

I got fired!

Coaching is such a strange and wonderful thing.  I’ve been working with a client for some time now and last week, she fired me.  She’d been in a really stuck space, but she’d done some good hard work and was now in a different place.  I think she thought I might be upset- but I was thrilled for her.  She knows I’m always available as a resource if she needs it, but she’s ready to fly on her own now.

The upside to staying up too late on FB

I was goofing around on FB one night when DH was gone and up popped a chat message from a cousin I haven’t seen in many years.  My Christmas cards kept coming back, so I knew he’d moved, but had no idea where.  Turns out he lives in Saudi Arabia now, and had just gotten back from a bike ride.  It was great to catch up with him even if it did keep me up an extra hour!

Building systems

Getting AJ’s glasses home from school every day has been a real challenge.  I had it easy when I started wearing glasses because I wore them all the time.  If I remembered to put them on in the morning, they were with me all day.  Since he only wears them for reading, they are in his desk at the end of the day.  Getting them into the backpack has been pretty hit or miss.  Asking him every day if had his glasses was a bummer for me and for him.  (Never  mind that I didn’t always remember to ask.)

Clearly we needed a system.

Talking with him about the end of school routine, we figured out that the last thing they do before walking out the door is put their chairs on top of their desks.  So we decided to put a little note card on the bottom of his chair to remind him to take the glasses out of the desk and put them into the backpack.

That seemed to work for a few days, but not consistently enough.  And we had two weekends running where the glasses were at school.

Lesson one:  it’s only a good system if it works.  It doesn’t matter how great it seems on paper, if it’s not making life easier, something needs to change.

I decided some incentives were needed.  Based on some of the things folks shared in response to this post, I got a little jar and a handful of glass gems.  The deal is that when his glasses come home, he puts a gem into the jar.  When the glasses don’t, he takes a gem out of the jar.  On Fridays, the stakes are higher:  two gems.  When the jar is full, he’ll get a reward of some sort- though we haven’t specified this yet.

We’ve just been doing this for a few days, and so far he’s remembered twice and forgotten once.

I consider it an experiment, subject to further tweaking.  I’ll keep you posted!

I can see my desk!

This is the newest high-five.  AJ and DH left yesterday on the class field trip so I’m home alone for the first time since I can remember.  Yesterday afternoon I decided to tackle the piles on my desk.  I worked hard for more than two hours, clearing and filing, etc.  By the time I was done BOTH my desks were clean.  And thanks to my binders, I can actually find stuff again.  Let me tell you, I was pleased with myself!

How about you?  What would you do-over from this week?  Any lessons learned?  What would you like a collective Hi-Five for?  Let us know in the comments!

Hope you have a splendtastic weekend!

It’s Friday once again and time for the weekly review of the good, the bad and the ugly.  Things we’d like to remember and those we might like to forget…

So here’s my list.

Do-Overs

Running on Fumes…

Well, it’s deadline week again for the newspaper I write for.  And once again, with articles due on Wednesday, I begin making phone calls, etc. on Monday.   Since I’m the only writer on staff at the moment (that is changing- hooray!) I’ve been doing a lot of writing.  Fortunately or unfortunately, our paper is shrinking because of declining ad sales, meaning that we have less space for articles and such.  Even with three or four articles to write instead of six or so, it’s a lot to do in just a few days.

I tell myself over and over that I’m going to start earlier this month- but somehow I’m always watching those deadlines go wooshing by.  I’m too much of a slacker to get started earlier, but too much of a perfectionist to not be bothered when I miss my deadlines…  What a combination, huh?

I didn’t end up pulling a lot of late nights this time around, but the emotional energy of writing and stressing about it (guess which one pulls more mental amps?) has left me running on fumes the last few days.

I’m sure this has contributed to a few of the other do-overs this week for sure!

Missed you on Tuesday…

Because I was racing to write newspaper articles, I didn’t get my blog post up on Tuesday.  Just so you know, my problem is not that I don’t have anything to say.  My problem is that I have way too much to say.  I brainstormed a post and then thought- “Good grief, you’re writing a blog post, not a dissertation for crying out loud!”   I didn’t have time to edit it so that it was both concise and complete.  I hope to get better at this as time goes on…

And of course feeling guilty about this nagged at me all week.  Before you rush in to reassure me that all is forgiven, let me say that I’m less concerned about disappointing someone else, though I do like to think that you are waiting with bated breath for my posts…  :)

It’s really about hating that all too familiar feeling of disappointing myself.  I set what should be a manageable goal (RED ALERT… the word SHOULD has been used!  This is usually a sign of impending doom!), and can’t manage to pull this off two weeks running.  And school is in session so I don’t even have that excuse.  UGGGHHH!

Is the honeymoon over?

After a stellar start, reality may be sinking in for AJ about fourth grade.  Nothing too dramatic, just a few minor complaints about school or other kids.  Leaving his glasses at school, making homework and reading more difficult…  little stuff like that.  I knew when we started school we would need some kind of system to make sure he got home with everything (in particular the glasses).  He assured me he would remember.  Well, I knew better, but thought I’d let him give it a try.  Now I’m trying to think of some kind of reminder that won’t be too obnoxious or embarrassing.  I’m thinking maybe a little notecard in his backpack or something.  Anyone else got any brilliant suggestions?

Mean mommy strikes again…

With violin practice.  I’m sure it’s been mostly because of the issues above, but violin practice this week has been less than stellar shall we say.  AJ has had a hard time focusing and I just have no patience (see ‘running on fumes’).  More than once this week, I’ve just had him pack it up early.  I can’t stand to listen to the sloppy playing (I’m not talking about getting bent out of shape over missed notes or stuff like that…)  He’s just not there and I can’t see that playing badly serves anyone.  I don’t want backwards bowing or missed fingers to be repeated over and over again.

When I’m in better shape, I can usually find a way to ground him so that it’s not a total wash.  Not so much this week.  Interestingly enough, sometimes when I tell him to pack up, he finds a way to pull it together because he really does love to play.   But not this week.  Unless this weekend is dramatically different, our next lesson may be a bit of a downer for him.

Minor tweaks needed…

On the meal planning front.  I was so proud of myself last week when things went so smoothly in the dinner department.  So this weekend, I made another rough list of meals and grocery shopped accordingly.  Well, I neglected to take into account the garden.  Cukes, tomatoes and squash, not to mention a bumper crop of eggplant.  So a few minor adjustments were made, and I’ll be spending the weekend cooking and otherwise dealing with massive quantities of produce.

But enough of that… here are the things that went well this week:

High-Fives

Half-Marathon Prep

Well despite my concerns last week, after my long run on Saturday, I’m feeling much better about running the half-marathon on Sunday.  In our paper this week someone was giving last minute tips for runners (mostly for the marathon) and one of his comments was, “This week is no time for heavy training.  Better to go into the race undertrained than overtrained.”   Woo Hoo!  Got that one covered!  At this point I’m expecting a long run, but a good one.

Black Bean Soup (with a surprise!)…

On the meal plan was black bean soup, which my family loves.  What they didn’t know was that a cup or two of grated zucchini could be slipped in and no one would be the wiser.

Divine Divas do Sand Tray Art

I belong to a fantastic group of business women here in town and we spent our last meeting doing Sand Tray art.  We met at the studio of a wonderful wise woman who guided us in creating a tableau of images and symbols from her vast collection.  When we were done, each person got to tell about their tray and then others shared what they noticed or wondered about it.  It was a great time and a way to see ourselves and each other in a different way.

So that’s about  it for me… how about you?  Got any victories (small or large) that only another mommy would appreciate?  Anything you wish you could do-over?  Please share in the comments!

Have a fantastic weekend and give your kids a big hug!

As has become tradition around here, we end the week with the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat (or something like that!).

Let me just start by saying that retreat was wonderful.  Amazing women, amazing learning, amazing food, amazing hot springs…. Did I mention it was amazing?

I returned on Saturday afternoon, and after my beloved husband threw all my clothes into the wash I immediately packed them all right back into the suitcase (with only minor adjustments) for a week at the Y camp with his extended family.

We had a blast, and I am so happy to be back in my own house, sleeping in my own bed, and slowly digging out from under the piles of stuff that didn’t happen for two weeks.

So there’s the backstory…

Do-Overs:

I need a retreat after the retreat

The sudden shift from retreat to family vacation was quite a lot.  We spend a week peeling back the layers of encapsulation to get at the deeper places of the self.  By the end of the week, folks are pretty wide open, and inevitably processes are started that aren’t fully resolved by the time we have our closing circle.  Today I finally got that I still had some integrating to do.   For next time:  schedule a few quiet days after a retreat.

Speaking of which…

Is there ever a good time to be gone and essentially out of email/phone range for two solid weeks?  I knew it was going to be rough, but so many things simply didn’t get done in a timely way in August.  And some still haven’t been done.  Nothing earth shattering, but I had a way bigger set of things to tackle than I could handle.  School still hasn’t started- so I still haven’t made it all the way through the list!  And (recall item above!) I’m still needing those few quiet days…  Maybe next week?

A near miss…

I’m not exactly sure whether to file this in ‘do-overs’ or ‘high-fives.’  We have in town a ‘semi-marching band’ that plays in the various parades and community events we have around here.  One of the members has been bugging me to join since he found out I was once a clarinet player.  I dodged him for a year or so, but when he asked again this year, I agreed.  He sent me the rehearsal schedule, which truth be told, is not that much of a commitment, but I got a funny little feeling in my stomach when I imagined my husband’s reaction.

I could just hear him… “You signed up for WHAT?”  And then I realized he would have been right.  I have a whole workshop on “Saying NO” where I talk to women about how our default answer is so often ‘yes’ before we actually consider what is involved.  Once I woke up to that, I emailed the guy back and told him that I was sorry I was going to have to back out, but I was about to get myself over-committed (again!).  Maybe someday this will be a little higher on the priority list- but for now, I can see that it could have become something I’d regret having agreed to.

So the ‘do-over’ is to think before I agree to something else… and the ‘high-five’ is that I uncommitted myself before I was in too deep.

High-Fives

R&R

Retreats are a wonderful thing.  Every mom needs some time to rest, relax and rejuvenate.  I don’t realize how exhausted I really am until I’m on retreat.  For the first two days, all I want to do during break time is sleep.  By day three, I’m down to a short nap, and for the rest of the week, I don’t nap at all.  This time, I remembered this pattern and didn’t give myself a hard time when I fell asleep during our meditations.  Fortunately I wasn’t the only one!  And I’m sure my naps were enhanced by the guided meditations.

Glass Fusing

One of my highlights from the Y camp was glass fusing.  The Y has a great craft center where kids and grownups can go and do everything from paint pottery, do leather crafts, make dreamcatchers or sun-catchers, and lots more.  This year I did some fused glass pieces.  So fun!  So easy!  And SO COOL!  One of my five lives (a la Barbara Sher) is now officially a glass artist.

Getting my ducks in a row…

I’m just so glad to be home again.  We’re getting organized for the start of school.  I think we have what we need for AJ.  I made him try on his jeans to make sure they still fit.  We got some new shoes,  and a couple new shirts.  I’m getting all the dates from school, violin, classes I want to teach, etc.  into my calendar.  And we have plans for a couple of fun things this weekend to end the summer in style.

All in all, life is good.

How about you?  Got anything you’d like to do-over from the week?  Anything you’d like to celebrate with a high-five?  Share in the comments!

p.s.  Know any crafters who need  a website?  The lovely and talented Kerrie Lee (who designed this here website) is running  a great contest.  Check it out here.

Whoosh… once again it seems like the week has just flown by.  It’s really Friday already.  Wow!

So you know what that means:  High-Fives and Do-Overs.  Time to celebrate the victories, large and small and note with compassion lessons learned (or not!).

Do-Overs:

Hmm.. I’m having a hard time with this one this week.  And I’m sure it’s not because I was the perfect mom, wife, friend, coach, etc….  I think it must be because I didn’t step out of my comfort zone much this week.  Guess maybe that deserves to be a do-over all by itself.

Reminds me of this quote I found not too long ago:

To improve, you have to make mistakes.  That is the problem with improving.  You have to accept that problem.

- Rafael Nadal

So I suppose my Do-over here is to figure out what area I want to stretch myself in- and go for it.  The mistakes will be evidence that I’m moving.

High-Fives

Tomatoes, Zucchini and Cukes, Oh My!

Almost a week of cool, wet weather has definitely slowed things down a bit, but now that the sun is back, things are ripening like crazy.  I had my first cherry tomato of the year and it was divine.   Lunch today was a bit informal- I ate some cucumber, a carrot and some cheese.

Binder Madness

Thanks to the lovely and talented Cariene MacDonald at Third Hand Works, I have binders and more binders.   And I’m loving it!  It all started with her Organic Business Manual class.  I’ve been slowly building my business manual (the blue one) in a binder and it’s been a great way to keep all the stuff I need where I can find it.  Amazing.

It’s been so great, I’ve even taken another stab at creating a household binder (I call it “Mom’s Brain”).  I’ve tried this before, without a whole lot of success.  I could usually manage to get the tabs and stuff made, but it never was something I could really use.  Now I’m all over it.

My greatest moment of triumph was when a babysitter returned a call and wanted to give me his cell phone number.  In previous days, I’d have rumaged for a sticky note or random scrap of paper, scribbled the number down and then left the paper out on the counter or my desk.  Heaven forbid anyone should spill something on the counter or that the delicate balance on my desk get upset in any way before I managed to put the number somewhere (where?) I could find it again.

This time, things were different.  I had figured out that my phone numbers needed to be right in the front of my binder- so when he said, “let me give you my number,”  I knew just where to put it.  I whipped out my binder, opened right to the phone list and wrote it down.  One time.  In the right place.  No little scrap of paper to keep track of.

For some of you this may not seem impressive- but for me it’s nothing short of a minor miracle.

I also made myself a binder for my newspaper gig (the turquoisy one).  It’s nothing very involved, but I have a list of all the deadlines, a place for phone numbers (it was kind of ridiculous how many times I looked up the same phone numbers) and a pocket for each article that I’m working on.  Now I don’t have piles of paper surrounding me as I’m interviewing and writing.  Well, OK, I still have them surrounding me when I’m writing, but I don’t have them all spread out when I’m NOT writing.  That’s the big improvement here!

I’m so into binders these days, I asked my son if he’d be interested in having a place to keep track of his chore chart, eye exercises, and other stuff.  He thought that sounded cool, so I took him to the craft store and he picked out some cool paper and stickers to decorate his very own binder.  I bet you can tell which one is his.  He’s totally into it right now as well.  Loves having his chore chart and the crayons handy to mark off things as he does them.

Retreat then Family Vacation

I’m off to a women’s retreat with some fabulous wise women for the week, and then off to vacate with my husband’s family.  I’m really looking forward to being unplugged for an extended period of time- though I will miss my internet buddies.

How about you?  What do you wish you could do over from this week?  What High-Fives would you like to celebrate?  Please share!

Hope you have a fabulous weekend!

In case you’re wondering, next Tuesday’s post (If Mama Ain’t Happy… part 2) is loaded up and ready to roll as scheduled.  Do-over and High-Fives will be on hiatus until I’m back (unless by some chance I manage to find my way to a computer week after next.)

See you back live in a couple of weeks!

This is the weekly round up of things I wish I’d done differently, lessons learned (if any!) or just plain hard stuff that happened this week.  It’s also the place to celebrate the victories, large and small of life as a mom.

As usual, we’ll start with

Do-Overs

In which we learn (once again!) that self-sacrifice never pays….

Last weekend DH wanted to go hiking Sunday afternoon.  The place he wanted to go was a hour’s drive away- up a steep and windy canyon road.  AJ was not at all enthusiastic about going hiking, and frankly, neither was I.  However DH had been wanting to go for a while and it was a nice day and I couldn’t think of a better alternative, so fighting my resistance (anybody smell trouble coming?), I agreed.  We got ourselves ready, and driving up the canyon, I realized that a big part of my resistance was that I don’t enjoy the drive at all.  I get carsick easily and so driving for an hour (each way) for a short hike is really not my idea of a good time.

I won’t bore you with the details, of the grumbling and grumpiness that ensued…  but the lesson for me was (once again!) that if I’m feeling resistance, I need to stop, notice and name the resistance.  Plowing through it, even in the name of (or perhaps especially in the name of) serving others does not end up serving anyone.

Computer woes…

Well maybe it’s the heat, maybe it’s age, maybe it’s who knows what, but my computer which I’ve had and generally loved for a few years seems to be giving up the ghost.  Several times in the last few weeks with increasing frequency, it will just freeze, then I get the dreaded black screen and all kinds of scary messages like ‘kernal stack error,’ and ‘no bootable devices found.’  I’ve tried all kinds of things like putting a little fan on it, and various scans and whatnot.  My husband finally said, “Sweetie- I think maybe it’s time we got you a new computer.”  I argued with him for a bit, but then I realized that every time I turned it on, I was making myself crazy trying to do my stuff before it crashed.  He was right, it was causing me way more stress than it was worth.  And given that it would probably cost almost as much to have someone look at as get a new one… well that was that.

This is really a combination do-over and high-five.  I’m so grateful that I can get a new computer, and I’m so bummed at the expense and hassle of doing so.

Where did this week go?

I had such big plans for this week.  My son was in camp ALL DAY, every day this week.  I was going to write a whole bunch of articles, get a bunch of stuff organized, do a ton of prep for upcoming classes and workshops, etc. etc.

What I did was write a few articles, get a little bit of stuff organized and do virtually no prep for upcoming classes, workshops, etc.  I’m still trying to figure out if my lists are too long, or I’m just not getting it done.  Probably a little of both.  But I did end the week feeling like that was my last, best chance to get stuff done before school starts.  UGGGHHHH!

High-Fives

Summer camp

AJ has had a blast at summer camp this week.  He’s been riding horses, doing crafts, playing games and learning silly camp songs (anyone remember ‘Baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo?’).  But his hand’s down favorite was mountain boarding.  Take one fully padded kid (helmet, knees, elbows, and wrists) and put them on an oversized skateboard with huge, knobby wheels and straps for your feet and point it down a hill and you get the general idea.  He loved it.

New Office!

Well it’s not really a new office- it’s a a new desk. It’s not even a new desk- but an old desk in a new place.  Well, OK, so it’s actually more like a plastic folding table that has a new home in a corner of the living room.   Anyway…. the upshot is that now my computer doesn’t live on the dining table anymore and I have a place for papers, my growing collection of binders and various bits and pieces of my life.  I also set up a lamp and a small bookcase that lives next to my desk now.  I’m considering it an experiment for now, and if I love it, may consider investing in a real desk.  So far, I’m kind of digging it, and my husband is VERY happy to have the computer off the table.

My son is learning to cook!

AJ has always enjoyed helping out in the kitchen- especially when I’m baking.  But this summer we’ve started a deal where he’s in charge of preparing one meal a week.  He chooses what he wants to make and I add the necessary items to the grocery list.  Then on the appointed day, either my husband or I helps him as needed.  So far he’s made mac and cheese, hamburgers, and spaghetti.

This week he helped me make a quickie tart from some pie crust dough that was left over from the cherry pie adventure of last week and some yummy local peaches.  I’d sliced the peaches and grated some fresh ginger over them and he enjoyed sprinkling the sugar on top.  While they were juicing up, he rolled the dough (with a little coaching on the proper touch!), slid it onto the cookie sheet and then made a lovely design of the peaches.  He was very proud of himself when we pulled it out of the oven.

It’s so important to me that he be able to take care of himself as an adult- and being able to feed himself seems like a pretty important life skill!

Anniversary fun

Last night we enjoyed a lovely dinner at a very chi-chi restaurant in town followed by a performance of  ”Much Ado About Nothing” at the Colorado Shakespeare Festival.  The show was outside and we got a bit chilly, but it was a great time.  Today we went hiking in an area we’ve never been to and it was absolutely beautiful.  We’ll go back there for sure.  And we’ve been married for 17 years.  That seems to deserve a high-five, especially these days!

Blogging!

I’m just loving doing this blog, and in particular the audience participation.  One of my big hopes was/is that this will be a place for juicy conversations about the fun stuff, the hard stuff and everything else that comes with being a mom these days.  So thanks for playing and keep it up!

So here’s your invitation to play along at home:  What are your Do-Overs or High-Fives for this week?  Let us know!