My job is so full of paradoxes, which is probably part of why I love it.

Right now I’m living the paradox of being tickled pink that three moms have signed up for my upcoming class at Front Range Community College, and at the same time, wanting a few more to come join us for the adventure we’re about to start.

To this end, I wanted to write a blog post about some of the things we’ll be talking about and exploring as part of this class.  So I made a bunch of notes about all the brilliant things I have to say to busy moms about how to shift their lives (and their families) from chaos to calm.  And believe me, I have a lot to say on the subject.

But the first thing I’m going to say to them is this:

There is nothing wrong with you.

No matter what the state of your kitchen, your closets, your appointment book, your checkbook…  There’s nothing wrong with you.

No matter how often you’ve been late for school, lost your keys or forgotten to send a birthday card… There’s nothing wrong with you.

No matter how mad, frustrated or disappointed others have gotten with you, or you’ve gotten with yourself for any of these things…There’s nothing wrong with you.

If they take nothing else from the class, I hope they will take this deep into their hearts, their bodies and their minds.

And herein lies another paradox.

If there’s nothing wrong with them, why sign up for this class (or any other for that matter)?

Because when you think of yourself as ‘disorganized’ it feels like there is something wrong with you.

And the disapproving looks from the school secretary when your kid needs a tardy pass (again!), or the irritation at having to pay late fees for the videos that have been in your car for 3 days (during which time you’ve passed the return slot at least 5 times), or the frustration at having to reschedule an appointment because you got the day wrong are nothing compared to the internal monologue that starts something like this:

O. M. G.  I can’t believe you’ve screwed this up again.  Will you ever get your act together?  Well, I suppose we shouldn’t really expect any different given your track record….

And then it gets worse… sometimes much worse!

So what I want to say to the moms in my class is this:  You are OK right this minute.  Being disorganized is not a moral failing or a personality defect.

At the same time, it can be incredibly frustrating and has some very real costs.

Some of these costs are financial (late fees, fines, etc.).

Sometimes there are lost opportunities (tickets are sold out, summer camp classes fill up).

Often relationships are damaged (a friend is hurt when you forget your coffee date.  Marriages are strained when disorganization leads to chaos in the household).

But the most significant cost of disorganization like this is that moms lose their ability to trust themselves.  And because they don’t trust themselves to handle the ‘little things’ of life, they don’t think they are capable of reaching for more.

Those little monster voices in our heads are very persuasive, because if you can’t even manage to get the kids to school on time, how can you ever hope to do that thing you’ve always wanted to do.

And this is the biggest cost- to these moms, and to us all.  Because right now there is an enormous reservoir of human potential being wasted because a whole bunch of moms think they aren’t ‘organized’ enough to manage their families and also live their own big dreams.

There is art that isn’t being created.  Books that aren’t being written.  Organizations that could change people’s lives for the better that aren’t being started because their creators are overwhelmed by the thought of getting dinner on the table.

There’s something seriously wrong with this picture!

And this is why I’m doing this class. So that a handful of moms can get a grip on the things that are making them crazy.  But mostly so that they can create the time, space and self-trust that it will take to bring their dreams out of hiding and into the world.

So… if this is you or someone you know (in the greater Boulder area), please pass this along.  I’d love to see you (or your friends!) in the class.

Click here for more information and registration.

What do you think isn’t happening because moms think they aren’t organized enough?  Please share in the comments!

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